Inconsolable
by yourstruly.nishaboo
Summary: Everything was perfect...
1. Chapter 1

**Inconsolable**

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect. **

**The start of a new story...i got lots and heres one of em. Enjoy what I got so far! Please R&R!

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"She said I was fine honey, I just need to slow it down, but I'm fine."**

"Just listen to her ok, get some rest. Where are you headed now?"

"Meeting Warrick, Nick and Sophia at a scene."

"Cathhh," Gil said sighing through the phone, "Do the words 'slow it down and rest' not mean anything to you?"

"It's only a robbery. Chill out, old man. Nick and Warrick have been so kind to help me out. We'll be fine honey. Enjoy your night off."

"Be careful baby, Love you."

"We love you too. Bye." Catherine said before she hung up her office phone. Sighing she sat back in her chair and but her hand on her small swollen abdomen.

After a minute of relaxing for t he first time in hours she got up and picked up a text book thick folder that was full of paperwork.

"So what do we have?" Catherine said sitting her case on the floor next to the dead body.

"Robbery and a 419. This is Mr. Rose, owner and manager." Jim said without looking over his notes.

"Witnesses?" Catherine asked squatting and shining her flashlight over the body.

"Just that guy." Jim said pointing behind Catherine. "Came in a found Mr. Rose on the floor and called 911."

"Where are Nick and Warrick?" she asked standing up.

"Processing the back."

"Thanks Jim." He nodded and walked off.

Catherine looked down at the body and took a deep breath ready to work the night away.

Gil picked up the phone next to his bed, ready to dial Catherine's number but changed his minds and dialed Warrick's.

"Brown." He heard from the other line.

"Warrick its Grissom."

"What's up?"

"I need you to do me a favor. I need you to look after Catherine for me and make sure she doesn't over work herself."

"Yea, I can do that. Is she working tonight?"

"Yea. She mentioned a robbery with you and Nick."

"Oh yea. We got her, don't worry."

Gil closed his eyes. "Thanks." He said before hanging up knowing that no one could stop Catherine.

"Hey Catherine." Warrick said walking out of the back.

"Hey Warrick. You guys get anything back there?" she said kneeling down and taking pictures of the scene.

"Yea. How come you didn't tell Griss we had a 419 with the robbery?"

Catherine looked up from the camera, "You talked to him?"

"Yea. Just a minute ago…he called."

"Oh, well I don't want to worry him" she said giving him a small smile.

"Just, be careful. I don't want to get my ass kicked by your protective husband."

"I won't let him do that." She said laughing and going back to snapping shots.

"Hey Wendy, you want to process this?" Catherine asked handing her an evidence bag with a knife inside.

"Yea. Wasn't your shift over and hour ago?"

"Yea. Just finishing up on some paperwork, and I'm fine before you ask."

"Ok, just take it easy."

Catherine rolled her eyes and went to her office. Walking in she found Gil sitting on the couch next to her wall.

"What are you doing here?" she asked jumping.

"Came to get you. Shift was over and hour ago." He s said standing up.

"I have paperwork to do." She said pointing to her desk.

"Cath, come on. You've been working all day and you know what Dr. Kept said."

"Yea, but I'm fine Gil." Catherine walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I really am fine." She whispered on his lips before she kissed him.

"Then come home and get some rest. What happened last time could get worst." He said resting his forehead against hers.

"It was just some pain. I'm fine, the baby's fine."

"Tell me your not tired then."

"I'm coming." She said breaking away from him and grabbing her keys.

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**Member to R&R!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Inconsolable **

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect. **

**Chappie #2! Please R&R!!

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**

Catherine woke up on her side and turned on her back her arm searching for her husband who wasn't there.

She took a soft deep breath and started to get out of bed but was stopped by Gil who walked in with a food tray. She could smell the waffles and sausage that sat one the plate.

"Good morning." He said kissing her.

"Morning. What's this?"

"Breakfast. Today…all day is bed rest. No cleaning, no cooking, working. You will stay in this bed."

"What?!"

"Doctor's orders." He said shrugging, "Its just for today."

"Gil what am I suppose to do all day in this bed?"

"There's a TV, DVDs, books. Sit up on the bed so you can eat.

"Can I at least have the laptop?"

"Yes." Catherine sat up and ate her breakfast while Gil turned on the TV.

"What do you want to watch?" Gil asked flipping thought the channels.

"General Hospital."

"Cath, no soaps!" he said groaning.

"We'll don't ask me."

"Fine Discovery Channel it is."

"Gil, no Discovery Channel." She said mimicking him as she took a bite of her pancakes.

"Let's watch…Grease. The first one of course because John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John are better."

"Yea and he looks good in jeans." She mumbled to herself.

"What?"

"Nothing honey." She said smiling sweetly.

The movie was soon over and Catherine had fallen back to sleep, proving that she really did need the rest. Catherine woke up with a sigh and she felt her husband's arms around her waist.

She opened her eyes and saw that they were face to face. She leaned over and kissed him making him groan.

"Hey." He said opening his eyes slightly.

"Hey too you too sleep head. I'm thirsty and I'm bed grounded." She said smiling innocently.

"What would you like?" he said groggy.

"Water and tea please."

"Ok, I'll be right back." He said getting up and running his head though his head, he eyes half way open as he almost ran into the wall.

"Careful." Catherine yelled after him, "I still need you for my slave for some more time." She said.

"Hey Mom, how was bed rest day?" Lindsey asked sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Boring. I wore you dad out today."

"That's why men are for."

"Yea. True. So how was school?"

"Boring. I aced the test in Math, I know. It was easy. Oh yea…I almost got in a fight today too."

"What, why?"

"A girl called me a bitch." She said casually, "So I was trying to hit her but people kept holding me back."

"Could you please stop almost getting into fights? It doesn't look good on your record."

"Well no bitch is going to call me a bitch and get away with it!" Lindsey said getting up.

"Stop saying bitch."

"Ok. Need anything?"

"Umm…ice cream and call your dad to tell him that his laptop is broken."

"What happened to it?"

"I kind of dropped it, but mine is fine."

Lindsey looked at her mother before she left.

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**Thought this was one of tha cute chappies. LOL! I'll update soon! Please R&R!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Inconsolable **

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect

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A few days later, Catherine was back to her busy self. Standing in the layout room she was talking to Warrick, "The vic was here and…" she said stopping. Warrick looked over and saw her stumble lightly and lean against the table.

"You ok Cath?" he asked going to her side.

"I'm fine, just a little light headed." She said swatting his hands away, "Anyways, the vic was here and ended up here so somewhere in between there was our suspect." She said pointing to the large map.

"I'll look at it. You should get some rest."

"I'm fine. I'll rest when I find this girls killer." She said leaving, not giving him a chance to respond.

Catherine splashed water on her face and looked up into the mirror. She needed caffeine, but she couldn't have any. She also wanted to sleep but her mind wouldn't let her.

Turning off the water she wiped off her face with a paper towel and ran her hand over her swollen abdomen.

"Catherine…are you in-. Oh there you are. We got a location." Sara said in the women's bathroom doorway.

"Ok. Give me a minute."

"You can stay, we've got it." She said pointing behind her.

"No. I'm coming, just give me a minute."

"Ok, hurry before our suspect runs though." Catherine smiled and let out her first small laugh all night.

"Clear!" The CSI's entered the house after it was cleared by the many armed cops.

"Sara and Nick, you guys take upstairs. Greg cover the back and Warrick your down here with me." Catherine instructed.

Each CSI went to their jobs.

Hours later the CSI's came back with more evidence for their case. "Take a break guys. We were at the scene for a while." Catherine said.

Everyone headed to the break room. Catherine went to the direction of her husband's office to find it dark and the doors locked. Taking her phone out of her pocket she speed dialed his number.

"Grissom."

"Hey. Where are you?" She asked making her way to the break room.

"At a scene. Are you at CSI?"

"Yea. Everyone's taking a break."

"Glad to see that your doing fine in my position." He said.

"I told you I could do it." She said smiling, "I'll let you get back to work hun."

"Kay. Love you and be careful."

"Love you too." She said before hanging up. Putting the phone back in her pocket she entered the break room.

"Jessica Simpson is way hotter than her sister!" Greg yelled. Sara rolled her eyes at the men.

"No, Beyonce is fine!" Warrick said inputting his thought.

"No, no. Its Kelly Clarkson."

"Man you said that just 'cause she's from Texas." Warrick said throwing a piece of popcorn at him.

"What the hell are you guys talking about?"

"Hot chicks." Sara said rolling her eyes again.

"Hmmm. Sounds interesting." Catherine said grabbing a bottle of water out of the refrigerator.

"It is. You feeling okay Catherine? You look…like shit." Sara said as she sat down.

"Why thank you." She said sipping on her water, "Just a little caffeine deprived."

"Yikes. I need caffeine every morning." Sara looked over to Catherine whose face had gone pale. "Catherine? You really don't look good." She said. The three men stopped their conversation and turned to Catherine.

"Oh my god. My stomach." She said clutching her stomach.

"Catherine, you're bleeding." Greg said looking through the glass table to see blood dripping to the floor.

"I need to go to the hospital." She said before passing out.

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**A/N: Here's another chapter. I know…sad . I think that my grammar and sentence flow and all that stuff you learn in English, is improving. D Please R&R!**

**Site won't let me upload any documents. : Rather annoying, plus I'm not getting any alert emails. Is my account cursed or something? With that...I'll post ASAP! Help me of ya can!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Inconsolable **

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect

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**

"Grissom."

"Griss. Catherine is being rushed to the hospital right now." Sara said as Nick speed behind the ambulance.

"What! Is she alright?" he asked panicked.

"I-I don't know. She was pale, then she said that her stomach was hurting and she was bleeding."

"Ok. I'm on my way. Where are you?"

"I'm with Nick, were right behind the ambulance."

"I'll be there." He said before hanging up.

"Oh god! Please it hurts!" Catherine screamed as pain shot through her abdomen and tears streamed down her face. "Did anyone call my husband? I need to call him." She said trying to sit up.

"Catherine we need you to lie down, you've lost a lot of blood."

"I feel dizzy." She said, her head falling back.

"Catherine. Can you hear me?"

Catherine shook her head as she saw his lips move. "Please…my husband." She whispered. She heard the paramedic's voices demanding things fade away and a beeping sound.

---

"Do you think she's okay?" Sara asked biting her nails.

"She'll be fine Sara. Catherine is strong." He said resting his hand on hers.

"If anything happens to her, Grissom is going to be…" she said sighing and resting her head on the back of the seat.

"Nothing is going to happen to her." He said as they approached the hospital.

---

"Gil were are you going!" Gil ran under the yellow tape.

"Catherine is on her way to the hospital and I need to get there." He said his hands shaking.

"Let me drive." Gil handed Jim the car keys and got in.

---

Gil walked into the room that the doctor had told him. There he saw his angel resting on the bed. Pale and with IV's sticking out of her arms and a plastic tube around her face. He slowly approached her and brushed hair from her face. His hand went rested on her stomach as he kissed her forehead.

He softly sat on the bed beside her. "Catherine honey, can you hear me?" he whispered stroking her face.

"Gil." She whispered, her eyes fluttering open.

"Hey, baby." He gave her a small sad smile.

"Gil, what's wrong?"

"Cath you should rest."

"No. Tell me what happened." She demanded.

"Cath…" he said taking a deep breath and looking down, "You lost a lot of blood and you…you lost the ab- you lost the baby." He said as tears filled his eyes.

"No." she said laughing in disbelief, "No…please god no." she said with tears falling down the sides of her face.

"You were at CSI and you bleed." He said holding her hand to his lips and sobbing. He was suddenly confused when she pulled her hand away.

"Gil please leave." She said looking at the wall.

"What?" he asked standing up.

"Leave Gil."

"Catherine please. I need you. I lost the baby too." He said trying to touch her.

"Get out!" she shouted dodging his touch.

Without a sound Gil turned to leave, closing the door behind him. As soon as she was closed from the world, Catherine sobbed in heavy tears.

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Sorry for the shortness of this chapter. The'll get longer. Keep in mind...I am not a doctor! But Please R&R!! 


	5. Chapter 5

**Inconsolable**

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect. **

**A/N: Wrote this chapter a while ago. Enjoy!

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"Dad! Is Mom and the baby ok?"**

Lindsey came running down the hall in her pajamas.

"What are you doing here? I though you were staying the night at Susan's?" Lindsey sat next to her father, her eyes never leaving his face that was red, and puffy eyed. She had never seen him like this.

"I was, but Greg called me. Dad, what's going on?" she asked softly this time.

Gil buried his head in his hands.

"Dad. You're scaring me."

"Mom is ok. The baby…" he said breaking into sobs again.

"No. Oh my god." Lindsey bought her hand over her mouth and her eyes began to water. "How is Mom holding up?"

"I don't know. She won't let me in there."

"What do you mean, she won't let you in?" Gil looked at his daughter's confused face.

"She doesn't want me in there. She told me to get out after she woke up and I told her the baby was gone."

"That doesn't sound like her."

"I know. I need her right now." He said as tears came again. Lindsey shushed him like he had done with her many times before. She lay his head on her shoulder and stroked her head and back.

"Its ok Dad. Everything is going to be fine." Gil continued to cry for his baby that he would never know, never see, never touch. The baby he would never have and not caring that he was a grown man being comforted by his sixteen-year-old daughter. He needed someone.

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Catherine had long drifted off to sleep, drowned in her salty tears. Dreaming about her deceased child.

She was suddenly woken by a prick in her arm.

"Hey there Mrs. Grissom." A pair of green eyes greeted her. "Good to see that you're awake. I'm Dr. Klein."

"What time is it?" she asked groggily.

"It's about ten am. You were admitted in the ER eight hours ago."

"Eight?" she asked trying to sit up, but was stopped by a sharp pain in her abdomen.

"Lay still. We had to do emergency surgery after you woke the first time."

"For what?" she asked.

"You were clotting, but we didn't have to do a hysterectomy."

"So when can I leave?"

"In a couple of days. Uhh there is a gentleman outside, says he's your husband…"

"Tell him I… I'm asleep." She said quickly making an excuse for him not to come in.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Please, I just want to be alone for a while."

"I can do that. If you need anything you can hit that button for the nurse. I'll be back in a few hours."

"Thank you Dr. Klein." She said giving a small smile.

Dr. Klein nodded and left the room, leaving Catherine alone in the dark.

---

"How is she doing?" Gil asked as he watched Dr. Klein come out of the room.

"She's fine. She's still asleep though. Other than that she seems to be doing well and the clotting is clear."

"Thank you. Do you think I can go in and see her?"

"No. Probably not until she wakes up." Gil's eyes sank to the floor.

"Thank you." He said and turned to have Lindsey handing him a cup of coffee.

"How's mom?" she asked.

"She's fine. Doctor say's she's still sleeping and we shouldn't interrupt her.

"Hmm. I wish we could see her. Dad, maybe you should go home and get a shower and some rest."

"Are you hinting I smell?" he asked cracking a small smile.

"Just a little." She said smiling also.

"I don't want to leave your mother here alone when she wakes up."

"I'll be here. Go to take a hot shower, a nice nap. Bye the time you get back she should be waking up and feeling way better."

"Ok, but call me as soon as anything is heard, you hear me?"

"Yes Dad." She said rolling her eyes and giving him a hug.

"She's going to be fine."

"I know. I love you and be good."

"Love you too dad."

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**A/N: Finally updated cuz I'm bored. Hope yall had a good Christmas! being wird for anyone else??**


	6. Chapter 6

**Inconsolable**

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect. **

**A/N: Wrote this chapter a while ago. Enjoy!

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**

Catherine rolled over in the hospital bed. It seemed like she was in the same room since the world began. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes; careful of the IV's in her arm.

"Hello Mrs. Grissom." She heard a small and sweet voice entering the room, "Good to see that you're awake. I'm Nurse Laura and I've bought you some food."

"What time is it?" she asked sleepily. She looked over to the nurse. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a tight bun, not a hair out of place. She wore the traditional funky patterned nurse uniform.

"About 12 midnight." Laura pushed the tray cart through the room and placed it beside the bed. "Here I'm going to help you sit up while I elevate the bed."

"I'm not hungry." Catherine's appetite was long gone.

"You need to get your energy back up." The nurse worked around her while she continued to protest.

"I feel fine." She lied.

"Try to eat something, or maybe I should as the gentleman outside to come and convince you." Catherine thought a moment, she meant Gil. Was he still sitting out there worrying?

"Uhh, no. I'll try something." She said forcing a small and weak smile on her face.

"I can still let him in. He looks worried." Laura pushed the cart up to the bed so that it sat in front of Catherine like a small table.

"No thanks. I'm fine."

"I understand after times like theses we all fell like being alone. I am very sorry." Catherine stared down at the tray. She noted the sympathy in her voice.

"Thank you." Catherine picked through her food. "Could you do me a favor?" she called out right before the nurse reached the door.

"What?"

"Could you tell the man out there that he can go home?"

Laura nodded at Catherine's request, giving her a warm smile.

"Excuse me."

"Is she alright?" Gil asked standing up. The nurse was about a foot shorter than he was. He looked down at her.

"Yes, sir. But asked me to pass a message. She wanted me to tell you that you can go home." Gil looked into her green eyes, not understanding.

"She wants to stay here alone?"

Laura only shook her shoulders, honestly not sure of an answer and walked away. Gil looked to the closed door. He didn't want to go in and upset her after her recent outburst. He glanced at his watch: 12:30am. Sighing he glanced at the door, wondering about his wife.

When he reached his final decision he ran his fingers through his hair. Turning he did so, leaving Catherine alone at the hospital. '_But she wanted it that way, right,'_ he though to himself.

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Catherine picked some more at her food. She had taken only three or four bites, her appetite gone. She pushed the cart away from herself and laid her head back on the pillow. She placed her hand on her stomach, remembering there was no one there anymore.

How could this happen to her. Everything was perfect. Everything was going right, marriage, love and a growing family. How could it be ruined so fast?

As the thoughts ran through her head, tears built behind her eyes until they spilled over. She cried silently, her eyes sparkling, staring at the ceiling.

She didn't turn her head when she heard the door silently open, thinking it was the nurse until she herd a familiar voice.

"Hey."

She quickly wiped her tears away, giving the same weak little smile she had been giving. "Hey Warrick."

"I bought you some flowers." He said gesturing to the bouquet of flowers in his hands.

"Thank you. You can se them over there." She shifted on the bed as he placed the flowers in to table near the door.

"How have you been?" he asked softly.

"I'm fine." Her voice was shaky. Answering the question almost bought a package of sobbing to her.

"Look, I'm sorry about what happened and if there is anything that I can do for you, you know I will do it."

Warrick was now closer to the bed. Standing next to it.

"Thank you Warrick. I know I can count on you for anything." Her smile was a shade stronger.

"Good. So how's this place been treating you?"

"Ok I guess. I was sleep for a while. Then I woke up to eat, but I'm not all that hungry."

"I wouldn't really have an appetite either. But you have to get stronger. Greg really miss you at work."

Catherine laughed for the first time in the past, what seemed like, a hundred hours. It was a light laugh, but the one that bought smiles to everyone's faces.

"Its good to see you laugh."

"I told you I'm fine. I don't see why they have to keep me overnight. I could have went back to work."

"Griss would bolt the door before he let you out the house."

"But I'd over rule him."

"Women. Where is Gil anyways?"

Catherine shrugged her shoulders, her smiled fading. "I uhh, don't know. Probably at home getting refreshed."

"Oh. Well, I just came by to see how you were."

"And I appreciate it."

"Everyone else should be by later."

"Well I'll be here." She said hitting the bed.

Warrick smiled at her humor. "I'll see you later." He leaned down and kissed her one her cheek.

"See you Warrick."

She watched as Warrick left. Lying back on the bed again. She looked over to the food, her stomach churning at the thought of eating anything.

Turning back to the ceiling she noted that she was alone again. But that's what she wanted…right?

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**A/N: Here's another chapter. Tell me what you think, please R&R! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Inconsolable**

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect. **

**A/N: Anotha chapter. Please R&R!

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**

"Mom! It is so good to see you. Dad sent me home first time I came." Lindsey sat her purse on the table next to the bed. Her shades sat on the top of her head, her blonde hair was down, just past her shoulder.

"Hey babe. Its good to see you too." Catherine's smiled was warmer the next day. It was always great to see her daughter, or what she still referred to as: her baby. "How did you get here?"

"Greg, again. He couldn't stay though. He and Nick are working double." Lindsey said sitting on the bed next to her mother.

"Oh."

"Yeah. Dad is really worried, Mom. He hasn't talked since he got home last night. Was he even here?"

"Um, I think so. I was sleep all yesterday." Catherine shifted her eyes away from Lindsey, sure not to give away her little lie. She knew he was here and she refused to see him again.

"Oh, probably why. So when are you coming home?" Lindsey asked. Catherine couldn't help but laugh at her million questions that she threw at her.

"I think maybe today, honey. I don't see why I have to stay here much longer. I miss you." Catherine said.

"I missed you too Mom, though I got to go sugar crazy for a day or two." Lindsey said jokingly. "I'm going to grab something to eat. I'll be right back."

"Ok." She replied.

A few minutes after Lindsey left, Catherine's doctor, Dr. Klein, entered the room.

"Hello again." He said flashing her a smile.

"When can I go home?" she asked without any hesitations.

"That's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about." He replied, "You lost a lot of blood, when you lost your baby. You body has replenished about half of what you lost, but you seem to be improving well. I just want to check a few things out and then run a few more test, make sure your fine and then if the results are good, you can go home."

Catherine nodded. Understanding everything that he had said.

"Okay. I need you to relax." The doctor gently pushed her shoulders down. "I'm going to lift up your gown…." He gently lifted her gown, exposing her stomach. "I'm going to apply some pressure. Tell me if you feel any pain."

Catherine stared at the ceiling, until he was finished, not feeling any pain. "Do you fell nauseas, dizzy…"

"No I feel fine." 'A little depressed at the moment.' She wanted to add, but she held her tongue.

"I need to take some of your blood, but a prick is all I need." He pulled out a small electronic device with a white strip. "Your finger please."

Catherine lifted up her hand, offering it to him. She felt a small prick as he took the small bit.

"I'll be back with the results as soon as possible. I know you want to get home." The doctor said offering a smile.

"Thank you." Catherine said before his exit.

"Wow. Who was that?" Lindsey said walking back into the room with a pop in her hand.

"My doctor. He said he has to run a few test, then I can go home. Sooner I get home, the sooner I can get back to work." Catherine slid back up on the bed, so that her back rested against the stuffed pillows.

"Work? I don't think Dad is going to go back to work so soon"

"I'm a grown woman. I can go to work I if I want to." Catherine said sternly.

"Sorry jeez. I just don't think he will. I don't even think that anyone in the lab will let you do anything. You do need some resting time." Lindsey sat on the bed next to her mom, sipping on her Sprite. "What?"

Catherine smiled looking at her daughter, wondering how she had grown so fast when, what seemed liked, yesterday she held her in her arms.

"I can't help but that how you grew up so fast. You're so smart and beautiful." She laughed as Lindsey blushed. It was the second time she had laughed.

"Yeah right. Beautiful. If I were beautiful, George Peterson would talk to me, pay some attention to me." Lindsey said a bit sad.

"Honey, don't rush into relationships and love. Just wait for it. When you really love someone and you do something that could screw up what you have, it hurts far worst than breaking up with your boyfriend."

"I want to find love like you and Dad have. I wish you guys had found it sooner. Like before my Dad."

"I don't. Because then I wouldn't have you." She said sincerely. Lindsey smiled.

---

Five hours later Lindsey lay one the bed beside her mother, both of them sound asleep. A light knock on the door woke them. Greg slowly walked in, giving them time to recognize him.

"Hey." He said softly.

"Hey." Catherine replied.

"How ya fellin'?" he asked.

"I'm fine Greg. You can sit those over by Warrick's flowers." Greg followed the path of her pointed finger to the small table that had flowers already on it.

Lindsey yawned and got off the bed. "That was a good nap. What time is it?" she thought aloud.

"Do you know when they're letting you go home?"

"Soon. They have to run some more test. If everything's all good, then I'm going home and I can get back to work as soon as possible." Catherine replied.

"You think boos man is going to let you go back to work so soon?"

"Gil doesn't control me. I can go to work when I please." She said sternly.

"Well do you think Nick, Warrick, Sara or I will let you go back to work so soon? If anything you'd get all the paperwork which everyone knows you hate."

"Yeah, Mom. He's got a point. I can stay home all day until you go back to work." Lindsey suggested.

"No. You're going to school. I'll switch to days or something."

"That's blackmail!"

"No, its called strategy. You guys don't let me work, then I go to days." Catherine smiled.

Greg laughed. "I just came to get Lindsey and thought I should finally come up and see you."

"Well I'm glad you did Greg." Greg walked over and gave her a small hug.

"I'm sorry Catherine and I hope you get better soon."

"I will."

"Oh Mom, Nana called and said she was flying down from Montana." Lindsey said remembering while she gathered her things.

"Who called her?"

"Dad. Bye Mom."

"Bye honey." Catherine yelled out from the room.

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**A/N: Sorry for the long wait on updating. Softball season is over. / But its good for you guys because I can come home from school and write! Enjoy! Please R&R!! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Inconsolable**

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect. **

* * *

"Mrs. Grissom," Dr. Klein entered the room shortly after Lindsey and Greg had left. "You test results look absolutely fine. I don't see why you should stay in the hospital any more." He said smiling. 

"I can go home and get back to work then?"

"You can go back home, but you're on bed rest for two weeks. That means no work."

"No work?"

"No work. The front desk already called your husband and he should be arriving soon."

Catherine opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again. She took a deep breath and thanked the doctor before he walked out. The nurse who had cared for Catherine walked in.

"Hello again. I need to take all these needles out of you," she said in an uppity tone voice. "Get you off these monitors and such so you get ready to go." Catherine helped her, pulling cords that were attacked to her chest for her heart and the tape that held on the IV needle.

"Do you need any help?"

"No thank you. I got it," Catherine slowly pulled the blanket off of her. She saw the nurse leave and Gil come in out of the corner of her eye, but she pretended not to see him as he rushed over to assist her.

"Let me help you honey," he said grabbing her waist.

"I got." She said swatting his hands away. She held back any indication to say the tile floor was freezing. Her abdomen ached as she stood. She leaned on he bed with one hand as she slowly made her way to the bathroom. Her felt a sharp pain and her knees gave out for a quick second but she caught herself before she could fall to the ground.

"Cath…"

Catherine ignored him. Staying in bed for two days was like death to her body; it was week and tired. She had never stayed more than six to eight hours off her feet. She was a true working girl. Catherine finally made it to the bathroom and closed and locked the door behind her. She leaned on the door, taking a deep breath.

'Why was that so hard?' she asked herself.

She went to grab her clothes and stopped when she saw her reflection in the mirror. Her face was a bit pale and her eyes were dark with exhaustion. Catherine felt a pit of nausea build in the stomach. She quickly leaned over the toilet and emptied her empty it's continents. Then she turned on the faucet and washed her face off.

Finally picking up her clothes she got dressed.

Just as Gil was about to knock on the door and ask if she needed help, she emerged.

"Excuse me," she said softly, moving around him. Gil watched as she gathered all of her personal belongings and walked out of the room without a word. Then he followed her path.

---

The car was silent. Catherine had her body slightly turned away from her husband; her eyes were looking outside the window.

Gil put his hand over hers, which was resting on her knee, but she pulled hers back.

"I'm glad that you're okay Catherine," he said turning into another lane. Catherine either didn't hear him because she was deep in her own thoughts, or she decided to ignore him.

"I just wish that our baby was okay too," he added. Silent tears rolled down Catherine's cheeks. She wished he were okay too.

Ten minutes later Gil pulled into the driveway of their home. The drive home was silent after he had spoken. He had noticed the tears that rolled down Catherine's face, but he sealed his mouth.

Catherine grabbed her bag, which was resting by her feet, and got out of the car to head and headed into the house. Gil slowly followed behind her.

Catherine headed straight upstairs to her bedroom and closed the door behind her: sealing the world out. She stood at the door looking around her room. The sheets on the bed were twisted, like someone was having a bad dream while they were sleeping. The curtains flew slightly from the wind. Everything seemed different.

She dropped the bad where she stood and walked over to the bed. She picked up the sheets and the smell of Gil rushed to her nostrils. The smell of his body wash, and cologne stuck to the sheets. Catherine sat on the bed with the sheets in her hands.

'He hates me.' She thought to herself. Catherine shoved her face into the sheets and cried herself to sleep.

---

Gil sat in his living room, not sure if she should go up stairs. It was his room too, but Catherine was hurt. But he was hurt too. Everyone hurt for them both. How exactly was he suppose to go about telling his wife that she was a bit wrong for being selfish and shutting him out?

Gil felt a familiar throb in his head. The light's became more intense each second. He slowly got up and walked to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water.

He took a gulp of the water, knowing it wouldn't cure his on coming migraine. He went to the medicine cabinet that was located in the kitchen and opened it to look for his old prescription of migraine medicine. He hadn't used it in years, but he always kept it with him just in case he needed it.

"Damn it!" he cursed to himself when he found the cabinet was replaced with baby bottles and baby formula. Changes for the baby. He remembered the day that Catherine had moved all of the medicine to their upstairs bathroom in their room. He remembered the smile on her face because she had felt the baby move.

He slammed the cabinet door shut and winced at the pain in his head. "Fuck!" He went to take a sip of his water but stopped and poured it out. He went to the alcohol cabinet, which he was sure was the same and pulled out a bottle of vodka. He poured some into his glass and grabbed some ice cubes from the freezer. He took a sip and went to the living room and slumped on his couch and drank himself to sleep.

---

Catherine woke up to darkness. She was in the same position that she had fell on the bed early that day. She took a deep breath and rolled over then rubbed her stomach and felt it was wet. She lifted her hand and blood reflected from the moonlight. She sat up to find a pool of blood in her bed and screamed.

Catherine woke up bolting up. Sweat was around her forehead and her hair stuck to her face. She ran her hand through her wet hair and reached to turn on the bedside lamp. She closed her eyes that burned under the light adjustment. When she opened her eyes she glanced at the clock; it was twelve am.

She took another deep breath and got out of the bed and walked to her bathroom. She turned on the shower and examined herself in the mirror. He face had regained color and he eye's still were heavy underneath. Her eye's traveled down to her stomach. The baby was gone and most of the weight she had gained was still present.

Before she could build any tears to fall she moved from in front of the mirror and went to take off her clothes to get into the shower. Closing her eyes, she let the warm water fall onto her skin. She put her head under the running water and slicked her hair back. This time she didn't hold the tears back. She let them go. Here no one heard her. Her weeps died with the sounds of the water hitting the surface of the tub.

---

"Catherine flipped through the channels of her TV. Nothing was on. She threw the remote on the bed, her stomach grumbling with hunger. She glanced at the clock; it was three am. Her stomach grumbled. She hadn't eaten since the nurse had made her.

Catherine got up and opened her room door. The hallway was dark, and there were no lights from downstairs. Lindsey's room door was shut. That must have meant that Gil was at work. Catherine quietly crept out like she was a teenager, sneaking out and carefully went down the stairs, avoiding creaks and groans that came from them.

She creased her eyebrows in confusion when she heard a snore from the living room. It sounded familiar, like her husband but she continued down the rest of the stairs. She jumped when she heard his cell phone ring and the light from the screen appeared in the darkness on the couch.

Catherine held her breath, waiting for him to wake up, but he surprisingly didn't. She let out her breath when the phone stopped ringing and she went to the kitchen. She squinted her eyes when she turned on the light. On the counter was an open bottle of vodka and some mail.

She opened the fridge. There were three boxes of Chinese food. She grabbed one and closed the fridge and popped it into the microwave then went to the cabinet and got a glass and then got some ice. She went to the pantry and grabbed herself a coke. Once her food was done she grabbed it and her glass and went back upstairs.

---

"Mom." Lindsey shook her sleeping mothers shoulder, "Mom."

Catherine murmured something that Lindsey couldn't understand.

"Mom. Wake up." Catherine's eyes fluttered open and she looked off as if trying to remember where she was, then turned to Lindsey who was sitting on the bed.

"Morning, Mom," she said.

"Morning. Don't you have school?" she asked turning to sit up on the bed.

"Yeah. I just bought you some coffee. You know Dad is downstairs knocked out. There was a glass of vodka on the table and his cell phone has like thirty missed calls. What happened?" she asked.

"Thank you." Catherine took a sip of the coffee and was surprised it was just right.

"I watched you make coffee enough to know how you like it," she said with a soft smile.

"Thank you baby," she said taking another sip.

"No problem, but you never answered me," Catherine looked at her daughter, "What's up with Dad?"

"I don't know," Catherine shrugged, "Maybe he's a little stressed out. I think everyone I know is stressed out some."

"Yeah. I guess you're right." Lindsey glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand, "I gotta go catch my bus. I'll see you later mom." Lindsey kissed her on the cheek.

"Bye honey."

---

Gil's eyes flew open when he heard the front door slam. He felt the pain creep through his head. It was either the migraine that had started last night, or a hangover. He rubbed his throbbing temples and sat up. The lights from the open windows made the pain even worse. He got up and stumbled up the stairs making his destination to his bedroom. He jiggled the handle, realizing it was locked.

"Catherine. Cath, honey please open the door," he said resting his head on the wall and his hand on the door.

Catherine jumped when she head the doorknob jingle. After Lindsey had left, she locked the door knowing Gil would come up. She heard his voice, pleading her to open the door and he sounded like he was in pain. Slowly she got up and opened the door and without saying a word she went back to the bed and lay down.

Gil went straight to the bathroom and opened the mirror cabinet and quickly swallowed two pills. He sighed and closed the cabinet, then walked back into the room. Catherine lay on the bed, her back facing him. He slowly walked over and sat on the bed.

"Did you need anything?" he asked her almost whispering. Catherine shook hear head no, but her stomach said something different, "Sounds like you're hungry. I'll make some breakfast and bring something up to you."

Catherine didn't respond, but Gil pretended she had. It would take time; he would have to be patient with her. 'But for how long?' he wondered.

* * *

**A/N: The end…of chapter eight. Chapter nine coming soon. Please R&R!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Inconsolable**

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect. **

* * *

"Here, honey. I bought you some lunch. My head stop hurting… always a good sign." Gil sat the tray on the drawer and sat on the edge of the bed. Her back was still facing him. He touched Catherine's bare shoulder.

She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. "Catherine, you've got to eat sometime… You can't give me the silent treatment forever." He became frustrated when she still lay there, not responding to him at all. Gil rubbed his face with his palm and rubbed his head.

"I'm going to shower," he mumbled. Catherine waited until closed the bathroom door and turned on the shower before she went to her drawer. She quickly pulled on a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt, and then grabbed a hair tie and her tennis shoes from the bottom of her closet. Quietly she shut the door and hurried down the stairs.

Catherine cursed her self when she stepped out side. The sun was blazing and the ground was hot. She should have worn a tank top and grabbed some socks, but she made do with what she had. She slipped on her shoes and began jogging away from her house.

She had run half a mile until her claves started to burn. She gasped for air, her throat hurting. But she didn't stop. Her adrenaline was high. For the first time since her late miscarriage, she forgot about it. She was running away from it in her mind. The more she ran, the farther she ran; the more away from it she was.

Gil sat in his living room an hour later, worried. He had gone to take a shower, leaving Catherine lying on the bed, but when he came out she was gone. He searched the house but couldn't find her. He had also called Warrick and Nick to see if they had herd from her, but they hadn't.

Catherine collapsed on her porch, inhaling deeply and coughing. Gil herd a thump outside and quickly opened the door to find Catherine.

Her face was red, her hair sticking to her sweated skin. He ran over to her when she got sick.

"Catherine. What the hell…" He picked her up like she was a baby. He laid her on the couch while she continued to cough. He ran to the kitchen and got her a glass of water. She gulped it down quickly.

Gil ran his hand down the side of her face. "What were you doing?"

"I… went… running," Catherine said between pants. Gil was glad that she had spoken to him, but he didn't show it.

"How far?" he asked.

"About three… or four… miles," she replied.

"Cath… Take this off." Gil helped her out of her sweatshirt and found her pale pink tee shirt drenched with sweat. Gil frowned, "Come on. Let's go get you in the tub. Your muscles will be sore later." Gil scooped her up again. He smiled to himself when she laid her head on his shoulder and warped her arms around his neck.

Gil quickly drew her a bath and got her in. It was like nothing ever happened. Like Catherine was over losing her baby. They both wanted to keep it that way… back how they use to be.

"What in the world possessed you to go running in that sweatshirt?" Gil asked rubbing her body with a soaped up sponge. Catherine closed her eyes. Now she remembered.

"I don't know…" she whispered.

"There must have been a reason…." Gil said trying her.

"I said I don't know. Maybe I just felt like running," Catherine said defensively, after her eyes flew open.

Gil pressed his lips together swearing to himself. Catherine closed her eyes again, enjoying the fell of his hands on her bare skin. She missed him, but he hated her. Hated her for what she did to their child, he was just good at pretending.

"I'm sorry," he said in a barley audible tone. Catherine opened her eyes again, staring at the bubbles that floated.

"It's OK. You can hate me. I understand."

"What? Hate you?"

"Yes. For what I did Gil…. What I did to our baby," she replied sitting up and drawing her legs to her chest.

"Oh honey, I don't hate you. Not one bit," he laughed at the idea of him hating Catherine, "Cath, I could never ever hate you."

"Stop pretending Gil. You've won your Oscar now. I know you hate me. How can you not after what I did."

Gil frowned. He knelt in front of the tub and reached out to touch her, but she pulled back as far as she could in the tub.

"Catherine, I'm not pretending. What happened to our son was an accident. He wasn't meant to be. It's not your fault. If anyone's fault, it's mine. I should have made you slow down and relax more. You needed me and I didn't help you. I'm sorry. I love you with all of my heart and I can never ever hate you no matter what you do."

The tears had build in Catherine's eyes. Her wet clumped hair fell on the sides of her face. 'Is he telling the truth? He couldn't be. Ha. No. Gil hates me: he really hates me,' she thought to herself.

"Do you understand me? Do you understand that I love you?" he asked.

Catherine nodded her head, 'yes' and let some of the tears fall before she wiped them away.

"Good." Gil wanted to touch her, but didn't, afraid she would pull back. 'She just needs time," he told himself again. He got up and got her a clean towel. He handed it to her and she took it, drying herself off and going to her some nightclothes, then locking Gil out of the bathroom. The bubbles in the tub covered most of her body, like she wanted and she still didn't want him to see her nude… well much of her anyways.

She felt disgusted with herself, like a failure. She knew Gil hated her, she just knew it. He was too afraid to admit it.

Gil sat on the bed and ran his hand through his hair and over his face. He pressed his face against the palm of his hand. He couldn't believe that Catherine thought that _he_ hated her. _Him_. Gil Grissom hating Catherine. It was true. No matter what she did, he would always, always love her.

* * *

**A/N: Catherine's gone maddd! Hopefully she'll come to her senses. Let the muses decide. Please R&R!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Inconsolable**

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect. **

* * *

"How are you doing Linds?" Warrick asked Lindsey who sat across from him at the small table in the diner.

"You mean since Mom's miscarriage?" she asked.

"Yeah."

Lindsey shrugged her shoulders, "Fine I guess. I mean I'm sad that my baby brother never got a chance, but… what can I do about it?" Lindsey drew circles in her ketchup with the end of her French Fries.

"You know if you need anything that Tina and I are here for you. So are Nick, Sara, Greg, hell the whole lab."

"I think that Mom and Dad need you guys the most," Lindsey mumbled.

"What do you mean?" Warrick asked leaning on the table towards Lindsey.

"They've been acting so different. Mom isn't talking or eating. She just locks herself in her room and calls it a day. Dad tries to talk to her, get her to eat and everything, but she doesn't."

"Does she talk to you any?"

Lindsey nodded. "Yeah. I think that's what scares me. She'll talk to me, but she won't talk to Dad. I'm talking about two people who can barley keep their hands off each other for a minute… and now they don't even talk or breath the same air."

Warrick sat back and looked at Lindsey.

"T think Gil is scared," Lindsey whispered. Warrick sighed sadly noticing how Lindsey had used Gil instead of Dad.

"And that scares you?" he asked her.

Lindsey nodded and threw down the French fry. Warrick put his hand over hers. He was scared too.

---

"Any idea when Grissom is coming back to work?" Sara asked stirring her steaming cup pf coffee.

"No. Ecklie up your ass too?" Nick asked.

"Hey guys." Warrick said entering the break room. Greg looked up from his magazine from the couch.

"Hey man. Where have you been?" Greg asked, "Ecklie is pissed."

"I took Lindsey to dinner after her practice. Why can't you guys just start without me?" Warrick went over and poured himself a cup of coffee beside Sara.

"Because Ecklie is an ass," Sara said.

"Ass at twelve," Nick mumbled when he saw Ecklie storming down the hallway through the glass walls.

"Brown. Where have you been?" he asked, "Shift started fifteen minutes ago."

"I took a friend out for dinner," he replied.

"Have your little play dates on your own time. You're pulling double shift tonight."

"What the hell? It was fifteen minutes." Warrick held out his hands; his body saying 'it's no bid deal.'

"Evidence doesn't stay at a scene forever Brown."

"Grissom wouldn't go overboard over something so small," Warrick sat his mug down on the counter, not in the mood for coffee anymore. Everyone was looking at them, even some lab techs out in the hallway.

"I'm not Grissom," Ecklie replied

Warrick was now stood within arms reach of Ecklie. "Damn straight. He's a better CSI and man than you'll ever be. Even if he's running this place or not."

"Just remember who's your boss, Brown. I can suspend you for in-subroutination."

Warrick took a step closer, "Suspend me or give me my case?" His nostrils flared as a smirk appeared on Ecklie's face. He wanted so badly to punch his lights out and call it a day, but it was immature.

"Four nineteen at the Belagio. Guy with a gambling problem got him self into some trouble," Ecklie said without looking at the slip.

Warrick grabbed the piece of paper from him and walked out of the room silently. The lab techs moved out of the angry man's path.

"Anyone else wants to join Mr. Brow on his double?" Ecklie asked, "Didn't think so," he said when no one replied.

---

"Moooomm, please eat something." Lindsey stood at her mother's bedroom door and a sandwich on a plate in her hands.

"I'm not hungry," Catherine replied through the closed door.

"I haven't seen you eat at all today."

"I will… when I'm hungry," Catherine said sternly.

"Fine!" Lindsey said frustrated. Catherine heard the plate being dropped on the floor and Lindsey storming off.

"Hey, hey. What's wrong with you?" Gil asked stopping Lindsey in the hallway.

"If she wants to starve herself, then let her," Lindsey said before continuing to her room.

Gil went to their bedroom door and found the broken plate and a sandwich on the floor. He picked up the mess and took it downstairs to the kitchen.

Gil leaned on over the kitchen sink and took a deep breath. His family was falling apart and he didn't know what to do. The only thing he knew how to do was run back to work and stick his head into a microscope.

---

Catherine lay on her bed, starring up at the ceiling fan spin round and round. Lindsey had just offered her a sandwich, which she refused to eat. Her appetite still hadn't come back.

She closed her eyes and images flashed through her head; her and Gil smiling as they rubbed her swollen belly, her and Lindsey having a ice cream pickle fight. She felt the tears form under her closed eyelids and slide down her face.

For the hundredth time, she cried in her room alone.

---

Catherine tiptoed through the hallway, upstairs. She head Gil's soft snores from downstairs. When she reached Lindsey's closed bedroom door she opened it. She stopped when her daughter stirred after the loud creek.

Finally getting in, she pushed the door closed, but it didn't close all the way. She made her way through the fifteen year olds messy floor and to her bed. Lindsey lay on her stomach, her hair all over the place.

Catherine smiled and climbed in the bed beside her. She moved the hair from her face and stroked her hair. Lindsey's fluffy blankets were nice and warm..

"Mom?" Lindsey whispered sleepily.

"Shh. Go back to sleep."

"What are you doing?" Lindsey asked, now awake.

"Linds, I'm sorry about earlier. I wasn't hungry," Catherine apologized.

"It's okay." Lindsey turned on her side so that she and Catherine were facing each other.

"Everything has got me…"

"Are you scared mom?" Lindsey asked interrupting her. "You can tell me because I'm scared too."

Catherine looked past Lindsey, and out the window next to her bed. "Yeah. I'm scared. What am I suppose to do now?"

"Move on. Remember when I lost my teddy bear, Mr. Bubbles? You told me that it was okay to be sad for a little while, but you have to move on because that's what Mr. Bubbles would want me to do."

"Yeah Linds, but this is different." Catherine felt the tears build.

"Not that different because I loved Mr. Bubbles so much. When you and Dad would fight and stuff, I'd hug him and I'd be all better," she relied. "Locking yourself away from the world isn't going to help."

Catherine's blue eyes meet Lindsey's and she gave a small smile. "It's three in the morning, go back to sleep honey."

Lindsey yawned, "Well eat sometime."

Catherine laughed. "I promise I will. I love you."

"I love you too Mom." Lindsey closed her eyes and instantly fell asleep. Catherine watched her daughter sleep soundly. She stroked her hair and kissed her forehead before falling asleep her self.

---

The next day, to Gil's surprise, Catherine was up and about, cleaning the house and out of their room. She had avoided conversation with Gil all day, but he knew that her out of the room was one step closer to being that way they use to be.

* * *

**A/N: I'm on another one of my writing streaks. :D Yay to Cath for moving on, or trying to move on. Updating soon.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Inconsolable**

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect. **

* * *

"I'm not one to bitch and whine Griss, but Ecklie is far beyond an ass." Warrick said into his cell phone as he walked down the halls of CSI.

"Conrad is Conrad. You're just going to have to deal with him until I get back, Warrick." Grissom replied.

"When are you coming back anyways?" he asked.

"Soon. I just want to make sure Catherine will be okay."

"Oh. How is she?" Warrick heard Gil sigh heavily.

"Fine. Not quiet the Catherine we know, but she's getting there," he replied.

"Tell her that were here for her. I gotta go."

"See you."

"Yeah. See ya." Warrick hung up his phone and Ecklie was in his face.

"Hope that was work related," Ecklie sneered.

"I was talking to me boss so I guess you can call it work related," Warrick replied clenching his jaw shut before he said anything else.

"You shouldn't be smart with the director of the Las Vegas Crime Lab. I could-"

"What suspend me?" Warrick asked interrupting him. Nick stood at the end of the hallway looking into a case file, looking up when he heard his friends raised voice. "You keep saying it so just suspend my ass then!"

"Fine. Two weeks without pay Brown," Ecklie only smirked glad that Warrick had lost his cool.

"You know what?" Warrick grabbed Ecklie's jacket and pushed him against the wall.

"War!" Nick ran down the hallway and pulled Warrick off of Ecklie. "Hey man!" He pushed Warrick, "Come on." Nick glared at Ecklie who only straightened his jacket before he ushered Warrick outside. Sara and Greg stood outside the DNA lab.

"Hey man. What the hell was that?" Nick asked Warrick.

"Nick he's been pushing my buttons since Grissom left."

"That doesn't mean you can attack him War," Nick replied. Warrick kicked the side of the building. "How long?"

"Two weeks. We need to get Grissom's ass back here before someone kills Ecklie." Nick nodded in agreement.

---

Catherine starred at herself in the bathroom mirror. Walking by she had caught a glance of herself in the mirror. Her face was thinner from her not so big appetite. Her natural hair color, red, peeked through her strawberry dye job. She took a deep breath and pulled her bangs from her forehead.

"You look beautiful," Gil said in a low voice, making Catherine slightly jump. She smiled sadly and laughed.

"Look at me; I'm a mess," she said.

Gil smiled. "Ecklie is being the usual ass so I think I'm going to go back to work."

"Really?" Catherine asked glad he had changed the subject to work. _'He can't wait to get away from me,'_ she thought. "Not surprised. A jackass is always an jackass."

"Are you… going to be okay home by yourself? I mean Lindsey will be home as much as possible working and everything."

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" Catherine looked at him through the mirror.

"I…" Gil opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

"Don't you trust me?" she asked.

"I do. I just…didn't know if you wanted company or not."

"I'll be fine. I'm a grown woman." Catherine said with confidence. She walked past him. Gil took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

---

"Where are you going?" Lindsey asked form the couch as she watched her father gather his things.

"To work," he replied.

"Who is going to be here with mom?" she asked, "I'm going over Jenny's."

"I don't need a babysitter." Catherine said entering the living room.

"Your mother's right. She doesn't need a babysitter. She'll be fine here by herself," Gil defended her.

"I'm fine Lindsey. I'll be fine. Just go have fun and stop thinking about me." Catherine smiled at her.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Ask me again and I'll ground you so that I'm not alone."

"Okay. See you later Dad."

Gil smiled looking at Catherine smile. "Bye Linds. Bye Catherine."

Catherine didn't respond, pretending not to hear him as she sat down beside her daughter and started up a conversation over what she was watching.

Gil's smile faded and he walked out the door.

---

"Good to see no one is late," Ecklie teased.

Sara rolled her eyes, "Our cases," she said as politely as she could.

Ecklie smirked. "Sidle and Stokes a 419…" he began.

"Grissom's back!" Greg said excitingly interrupting him. Nick, Sara and Ecklie looked to see Grissom making his way to the break room.

"Grissom." Ecklie greeted him.

"Ecklie."

"What are you going back so soon?" he asked.

"I came to get my team back," Gil replied, "I didn't get a great report Conrad."

"Well Gil, they obviously need some type of discipline."

Gil looked around the room only counting three CSI's. "Where's Warrick," he asked.

"Brown… I had to let him go for a while. Coming in late, harassing," Ecklie answered. Gil glared angrily at Conrad Ecklie. "Why are you here anyways? You should be home with your wife. Oh and I'm sorry about your loss."

"I'm here because my guys wanted me. My personal life is none of your business. Now hand over my team."

"They need a real leader," Ecklie said smirking as he handed Gil the case assignments. "Maybe Catherine could do a better job as the headmaster than you Gil." Conrad walked out, Gil watching him.

"Nick call Warrick and tell him to meet me in my office, then come back to me for your assignment. Sara and Greg, a DB in UNLV dumpster and an DB at the airport." Gil handed Sara both of the slips and walked out of the break room.

"Dumpster or airport?" Sara asked.

"Rock, paper, scissors?" Greg asked.

Sara sighed and nodded, "Rock, paper, scissors." They said together as they're hands moved.

Greg stuck out his tongue, "Scissors beat paper. Have fun with some kids old socks." Greg snatched the assignment out of her hands; reading to make sure it was the right one.

Nick laughed and shook his head. "Good luck Sar."

---

Catherine lounged on her living room couch with a glass of white wine. She had just seen her daughter off for her sleepover. The house was silent, quiet. Maybe it was all she needed. Some peace, but the more she drunk, the more the images slipped into her mind.

'_Blood. There was so much blood,'_ she thought_. 'My baby boy was slipping away… all because of me.'_

Following were tears. More and more tears. She could hear the voices in her head.

"Look what you did. It's entirely your fault. You took away his son. You KILLED his son, you bitch! He hates you… maybe Lindsey hates you too!" they said.

Her body shook as the tears flowed. She heard the phone ring, but she didn't bother to answer it; letting the answering machine take it.

'_This is the Grissom's residence and we are not available at the moment. If you are trying to reach Gil press 1, Catherine press 2 and Lindsey press 3. Leave a message at the tone and have a nice day,"_ Lindsey's recorded voice said.

"Hey honey. It's me," Gil said. "I was just calling to make sure you were okay, but I guess you're asleep already. Everyone here misses you a lot. Call me if you need anything. I love you."

Catherine took a deep breath and soon controlled her tears. She wiped her face and went to the phone, dialing Ecklie's number.

"Conrad Ecklie," he answered sounding bored.

"Ecklie. It's Catherine."

"Oh. Hi. How are you?" he asked.

"I'm fine. Um, I was calling to tell you that I was coming to work next shift."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. How long does it take to heal from a miscarriage?" Catherine asked nervously laughing. "Women are usually out within hours."

"You were in the hospital for a couple of days, Willows." Ecklie had only called Catherine Willows to ease the confusions of two Grissom's. "It could put a lot of evidence and cases under questioning."

"Ecklie, I'm fine. I can do my job," Catherine said frustrated.

"Alright. I'll put your sick days back on your un-used schedule," he promised.

"Thank you."

Ecklie said his welcomes and hung up.

Catherine went back to the couch, working always helped. She sighed.

---

Grissom hung up his office phone after he left his message for Catherine. He looked up when her heard the knock on the door and Warrick stood waiting for permission to enter.

"Warrick. Come in." Warrick followed orders and closed the door behind him.

"Welcome back," he mumbled.

"Thank you. What happened with you and Ecklie?" Gil asked.

"He's an ass. End of story."

"Warrick. Sometimes you have to adapt to the leader instead of him adapting to the people," Gil said. "Were you… gambling?"

"No Griss! I took Lindsey out to dinner."

"My daughter Lindsey?"

"Yes. I thought that she might wanted to talk to someone about everything," Warrick replied softly. "I was a little late and Ecklie…"

"Yeah. Well, you're coming back tonight."

"But he suspended me. He's the assistant director."

"You're my CSI, not his," Grissom said looking at him over the rim of his glasses.

Warrick nodded. "If you or Catherine need anything… Tina and I are here."

"Thanks Warrick, but were fine. It's going to take sometime, but Catherine's getting better."

"Are _you_ gettin' better?"

* * *

**A/N: 1:44 am. Tired and bored. One week 'til I go home and I'll have Internet! The joy and pleasure I will get when I simply plug in the Ethernet cord instead of slow ass dial up. Anyways, please review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Inconsolable**

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect. **

* * *

Sunlight crept through the living room windows. The shine on her face finally woke Catherine. She lay on her stomach, on the couch; her arm touched the floor and an empty bottle of wine beside her. The glass she had been drinking out of was tipped over one the coffee table.

She could taste of the wine had turned bitter in her mouth. She rubbed her nose and slowly sat up, resting her head in her hands. Her head was begging to pound, indicating that she had gotten drunk. Rubbing her eyes she wondered why Gil hadn't woken her when he came in.

Deciding she needed to take a shower and rest, Catherine got up and went to her room. She was surprised to see that her husband wasn't there and she couldn't help but wonder where he was. She quickly forgot about it and took a hot shower.

Catherine had slipped on a pair of rolled up sweat pants and a blue tank top. She lay on the bed and instantly smelled Gil's scent on the sheets. She remembered she had left him alone to get ready for work the night before and she never came back upstairs.

Soon she fell asleep, trying to chase away her headache.

---

Gil opened the door to his house and let Catherine's mother, Lily, in. He picked up her two bags and sat them by the front door before closing it. Gil walked into the living room, spotting the empty bottle and wine glass.

"She must be upstairs," he said quietly.

"I'm sorry for your loss Gil. If there's anything I can do."

"Ms. Flynn," Gil grabbed her hands and looked at her, "Stop apologizing. You didn't do anything, no one did. It's just meant to be. Catherine needs more than Lindsey and me right now. She needs her mother too."

"She's so lucky to have you Gil," she replied. "And stop calling me Ms. Flynn."

"Yes ma'am. I'm not sure if she's asleep or not. Come on up anyways."

The door to their bedroom was closed; Gil carefully opened it to find Catherine lying on the bed asleep. Lily wasn't far behind him. He pressed his back against the door to let Lily in.

Lily walked over to the bed and look down at her sleeping daughter. She sat on the edge of the bed and moved some of her hair out of her face.

"Catherine," she whispered, "Catherine sweetheart. It's your mother." Catherine sighed and fluttered her eyes open. When her vision focused she saw her mother sitting beside her. She blinked to make sure she still wasn't drunk.

"Mom?" she whispered sleepily.

"Hi honey."

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Gil called me and told me what happened and I flew here first thing." Catherine quickly glanced at Gil who stood by the door. He gave Catherine as small sad smile before he left them alone.

"Gil called you? Why?"

"Because I'm your mother. You remember that part don't you Catherine? I wanted o make sure you were doing okay."

"I'm fine Mom." Catherine sat up and rested against the headboard.

"Catherine, what happened to you is a hard thing to get over," Lily said.

"Mother," Catherine groaned. "I said I'm fine. I'm going back to work tonight."

"Oh Catherine, do you think that's such a good idea?"

"Yes. Why wouldn't it be?"

"You were pretty far along in the pregnancy and…"

"Working is better than sitting around all day thinking about it. The blood… it's everywhere. When I sleep, open my eyes, eat, and breathe. The hospital, my son." Catherine works stuck in her throat as the tears began. It was like a factory in her eyes at the tears rolled down her cheeks.

Lily reached out and held her child. Catherine clung to her mother as she cried.

"And Gil… I know he… he hates me," she choked out.

"Oh dear. I don't think he could ever hate you."

"I took... away his… his son mom and… I hate myself for it," Catherine said between hiccups.

"You didn't do anything wrong Catherine," Lily said soothing her.

"Then why… am I not… preg… pregnant with a…. baby boy? Why isn't Gil… telling me how… much he love… loves me?"

"Because you keep pushing him away Catherine. I know for a fact that Gil loves you and Lindsey more than anything in the world and he could never bring himself to even hate you two. You are everything that he has, what he is. You have to remember that he lost a son too. And Lindsey lost a sibling."

"I know… but…"

"You hush Catherine," Lily said sternly, "Stop it. Stop with all the negativity. You're fine, your husband's fine and your daughter's fine. It's okay to grieve for a little while, but you have to move on because that's what your baby would want you to do. You have a good husband and a life people dream about having. There will always be a place in your heart for that child, but there are people who need you right now as much as you need them."

"It sounds so easy… It's just hard. Mom just stay with me."

"I am honey. I'm going to stay for a while until you feel better okay?"

"Okay," she sniffed.

Gil sat outside the bedroom listening. He let the tears he held in slowly run down his cheeks. It was a lot harder than it sounded. Right now telling his wife that he loved her was the hardest thing to do.

---

"Nana! What are you doing here?" Lindsey asked walking into the kitchen.

"Hello to you to Lindsey." Lily hugged her.

"Hi, but I thought you lived in Montana?"

"I do. I just came to see your mother. Gil called me."

"Oh. How is she?" Lindsey asked taking the tops off pots of stuff cooking.

"She's as fine as she can be. How are you?"

"I'm okay." Lindsey shrugged. "I'll be one hundred percent when Mom is."

"Hopefully she'll be that way soon," Lily replied.

"Hi guys," Gil said entering the kitchen.

"Hey Dad."

"Hello Gil."

"It smells good in here. How was Jenny's?"

"Fine. We went to the movies, did some prank calling. You know the usual."

"Glad you had fun."

"Lindsey can I speak with your father please?"

"Sure, but as long as you promise to make some peanut butter cookies."

"Deal." Lily said wiping her hand off before shaking Lindsey's.

"You know," Lily began when Lindsey was gone, "Catherine is going back to work tonight."

"What?" Gil asked.

"It's what she told me Gil and I'm guessing you didn't know that she was."

"I didn't. I wouldn't let her go back to work this soon," Gil replied.

"I know you wouldn't and I don't think it's a good idea for her, but maybe it will help her. Get her mind clear of things." Lily turned around and wiped her hands off his the towel she had on her shoulder.

"What if she clears me out of her mind?" Gil asked with a scared look on his face. It sounded corny, but truthfully he couldn't live his life without her.

"I don't think she could ever do that to herself or Lindsey," she replied.

"I'm not too sure. She has this crazy idea that I hate her."

"She told you?" Lily asked.

"Yeah. She thinks I hate her because she lost the baby."

"You don't hate her do you?"

"No! It's not like she… jumped off a flight of stairs to have a miscarriage."

"You said it was from all the stress," Lily said.

"It was. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I should have made her sit down more and stop working."

"Gil Grissom, you and I both know that Catherine is as stubborn as a mule and I'm not saying it's her fault either. It's no one's fault. It's just how God planned everything out to be; maybe there's a reason this happened."

"It better be a good reason to bring so much pain upon us. To take away our son who never got to see a day of light."

"I'm going to tell you the same thing that I told Catherine because I know that you're grieving also, but in a different way; it's okay to grieve for a little while, but you have to move on because that's what your baby would want you to do. Catherine's fine right? She's alive and almost physically healthy."

"I understand Lily, it's just a lot harder than it sounds."

"Life's hard, but you only have one." Lily turned back to the boiling pots. "Go rest Gil. I'm pretty sure you had a long night."

"Where's Cath?"

"She's sleeping off her hangover. Stop worrying." Gil laughed missing his own mother.

"Yes ma'am."

---

Hours later Lily had finished dinner while Gil and Catherine took their naps and Lindsey helped her. She called all of them down to dinner and one by one they came; Lindsey first, then Catherine, and finally Gil.

"Smells good hun?" Lindsey said stuffing her iPod in her pocket.

"Sure does. I think that you might have to stay forever Lily," Gil said.

"Catherine doesn't cook for you?" Lindsey grunted and she received a look from her mother.

"Sorry," she said smiling.

"I cook sometimes. I'm not the top chef around here," Catherine replied.

"Gil is then. Sam could cook, you know," Lily replied, "He made some good stew."

Everyone made his or her plates and grace was said. It turned silent except for the scrapes of forks on plates and glasses being put back on the table. Catherine mostly picked at her food, but keep on with her wine.

"Mom what do you want to do tonight?" Lindsey asked her mother. "With Nana and I?"

"I'm not staying home tonight Linds. I'm going to go to work," Catherine replied.

"Oh. I guess it's just us tonight then Nana. Cookies, ice cream and movies."

"Sounds so much better than work. You sure you don't want to stay here Cath?" Gil asked.

"Mmm hm. Greg and everyone misses me, plus I need to finish off a couple of cases files that I started. Better now than later," she sighed.

"Catherine could you please eat something instead of picking at it. I didn't make all of this for my health, you know."

"I did. I'll take some for lunch."

"When does your shift start again?"

"In about half an hour," Gil said looking at his watch. "Which means I have to get ready. It was a lovely dinner Lily, thank you very much." Gil got up and gave his mother-in-law a kiss on the cheek.

"You're welcome."

"I have to go too," Catherine said. "Thanks mom."

"You're welcome dear. I'll pack you some before you leave." Lily got up and hurried into the kitchen.

Lindsey sat at the table eying the bottle of wine. She smirked and grabbed it.

"I forgot this," Lily said grabbing the bottle from her.

"Come on Nana. Just a sip." Lindsey followed her into the kitchen.

---

"Are you sure you want to go back to work?" Gil asked Catherine who was sitting on the bed, her back facing Gil putting on her black ankle boots.

"For the millionth time, yes." Gil pulled on his pants over his black silk boxers and he looped his belt on.

"Well you're going to have a lot of people saying sorry and stuff," he replied.

"I know," Catherine said quietly. She grabbed a hair band of off her nightstand and stuck it between her teeth as she pulled her hair back, then she wrapped the hand around her hair, leaving some bangs around her face.

"You do know how much I love you right?" Gil asked her after a while.

Catherine looked to the side so he could see her profile. She tried to reach deep into her heart to where she knew he did love her, but there was nothing there.

"Yes," she lied letting the poison spill from her lips.

"We'll get through this." Gil kissed her softly on the cheek before grabbing his keys.

"I'll be in the truck," he said. Catherine nodded. The evil was crowding her like a dark cloud, killing her, but she wouldn't let it.

"Okay," she said deciding to ride with him instead of avoiding him.

They'd get through this… together.

Wouldn't they?

* * *

**A/N: Isn't it depressing to watch the perfect couple hurt. :'( Please R&R. Chapter 13 is coming soon.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Inconsolable**

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect. **

* * *

Gil glanced over at Catherine after he had killed the engine to the truck. He gave her a small smiled silently saying, 'Get ready.' Everyone one knew that all of the employees of the Las Vegas Crime Lab were like wolves when it came to anyone's personal life, because half of them didn't have any of the sort themselves. There was always gossip and talk about what happened to whom.

She returned his smile with her own forced smile. Catherine felt everyone's eyes on her as she walked through the hallways of the lab. The glass walls didn't help either.

"Hi Mrs. Grissom," Judy's small but sweet voice said.

"Hi Judy." Catherine smiled at the young woman's sweetness.

"Welcome back to work. I don't think your guys could have gone any longer without you," she replied.

"Thank you." Catherine finished signing in. Gil did the same, said goodbye to her and went the opposite way to his office. Catherine sighed and headed to her office hoping that no one would stop her in the hallway. Having a miscarriage that began in the lab _was_ a conversations starter.

"Catherine?" she heard Sara call out. 'So much for that wish,' She thought.

"Hey Sara," Catherine said sighing.

"You're back at work already," she asked.

"Yeah. I was kind of bored sitting around all day." If anyone knew how much you could miss work, it was Sara, the workaholic.

"Oh, wow. I didn't think that you'd be back so earlier. The guys are going to be happy to see you." Catherine nodded. The conversation was a bit awkward. "Where's Grissom?"

"I'm not sure but I'm going to go and get ready for shift in my office."

"Okay. I'll see you later."

Catherine closed the door to her office, glad to be surrounded by the four walls, alone. She leaned against it and examined her small space called an office. The swing shift supervisor had finally gotten her own office so Catherine never had to see the water foul decorations ever again.

She put up pictures of Lindsey, she and Gil and one of all three of them. In another frame also had a picture of her mother and Sam.

She jumped when she heard a knock on the door. She stayed quiet for a minute hoping whoever it was would go away, but she quickly changed her mind. Maybe it was someone with some work for her. Opening she was greeted by Warrick.

"Hi Warrick."

"Hey Cath. It's good to see you at work." He stepped in and gave her a warm hug.

"It's good to be back."

"How are you?"

Catherine took a deep breath, "I'm… good. I mean, I'm breathing so it's not that bad. How was working without me?" Catherine moved around her desk throwing her keys and purse into one of the drawers and locking it.

"Hell. Ecklie man."

"He's not that bad. Sometimes he can be a little arrogant, but it's Ecklie."

"Well he can take his arrogant ass somewhere else. I'm glad you and Griss are back." Catherine smiled. "If you need anything Cath, I'm here."

"I know. Thank you Warrick." Catherine moved around her desk and gave him another quick hug.

---

Sara knocked on the door to her boss's office before walking in. "Hi Grissom."

"Hi Sara. What can I do for you?" Gil sat behind his desk sorting some papers on his desk.

"Nothing. I just saw Catherine," she said making it sound more like a question.

"Yeah. She decided she wanted to come back to work," Gil took off his glasses and looked at Sara.

"Oh. Don't you think it's a little soon for her to be back," she asked sitting in the chair in front of his desk. "I mean… she is most likely still in a emotional fight with herself and it wouldn't be good for work."

"I know, but work is probably the only way for her to get back on track Sara. If anyone knows about working and emotions it's you," Gil replied slightly irritated.

Sara nodded, "Yeah. I know. I shouldn't have…"

"It's okay. I know you mean well, but Catherine is an adult she knows what she wants."

"I understand, but if you need anything Grissom, I 'm here."

"Thank you Sara."

---

The graveyard shift went by painfully slow. Gil had assigned Nick to stay with Catherine and analyze evidence that was bought in, trying to make it sound like he hadn't put Catherine in the building. Of course he wasn't ready for her to be out in the field and if be could help it, he would.

"How was your night?" Gil asked as they walked to the truck.

"It was okay, I guess," Catherine replied. "It was good to get back to work, get my mind off of everything."

"I'm glad it did."

The rest of the way home was quiet. Catherine looked out the window of the car at the Vegas lights. She rested her hand on her stomach, and her eyes began to tear up. She blinked them away, hoping that Gil didn't notice, but he had.

He put his hand on top of hers that lay on the rest between them but she pulled it away, pretending that her arm itched.

"Hey guys." Lindsey said greeting Gil and Catharine as she sat the dining room table, eating pancakes.

"Good morning."

"Morning Lindsey, Lily," Gil replied.

"Morning," Catherine said.

"You two look hungry. I'll make you some pancakes," Lily offered.

"I'm not hungry Mom."

"Honey, you must be after working all those hours," Lily argued.

"Well I'm not," she said sternly before disappearing and going upstairs.

"Fine. Gil would you like some pancakes."

"Yes I would, I think I'm going to rid the shower of death from me first." Gil left to take his shower in the hallway bathroom, while Catherine used theirs.

"You mother can starve her self to death, see if I care," Lily told Lindsey quietly, teasing. Lindsey rolled her eyes and laughed.

---

"Catherine, you have to eat."

"I know, I said I wasn't hungry Gil. What part of that don't you understand?" Catherine asked as she angrily pulled some clothes out of her drawers.

"I'm just trying to avoid you passing out. I'm sorry if I was so concerned."

"Yeah, you'd love it if I just passed out and starve myself, huh," she yelled.

"What the hell is that suppose to mean Catherine?"

"Don't play dumb Gil. You know damn well what it means."

"Is it referring to this whole I hate you crap,' he yelled back.

"I don't know Gil. You tell me."

"It's not because I don't hate you Catherine."

"Stop lying to me! Just say it!" Catherine's eyes had turned red and tears threatened to spill down her face.

"Stop it!" Gil picked up the lamp on his nightstand and threw it. "Shut up!" he yelled. Catherine jumped and the tears fell. "I don't hate you!" His face was red; he let his emotions get the best of him. He had always been a soft spoke man, quietly arguing, but he just let go.

"What are you going to do? Be another Eddie?" she yelled back at him.

"No, maybe your mother can knock some sense into you!"

---

Lily and Lindsey were looking up at the ceiling as if they could see the two adults upstairs arguing.

"Maybe I should go up there and…"

"No, you go ahead and go to work."

"Nana, there's no need to protect me from them arguing. I've seen and heard it all before with Eddie and Mom."

"What did I say young lady?" Lily asked her in a warning tone. Lindsey rolled her eyes.

"Yes ma'am. Bye."

"Bye. Drive safely out there."

Lily took a deep breath and closed her eyes praying from some kind of help.

---

"Look Catherine. We both just had a long shift and I'm tired. I really don't want to argue with you anymore. I'm going to go and take a shower and then have some breakfast." Gil said calmly before he walked out of their bedroom with everything he needed.

Catherine watched after him watching until the door shut before her legs gave, and she landed on her butt on the floor. She let her tears go, sobbing again. She didn't know if she was sad because Gil hated her and he didn't admit it or the fact that he just hated her.

Gil turned the shower on cold, trying to physically cool himself off. "Damn it." He said hitting the shower wall. He hated that he let his emotions get the best of him, but Catherine had set him off.

It hurt him that he was that cold. Maybe she didn't hear him all of the times he said 'I love you,' or their vows; 'Till death do us part, through sickness and in health, through good times and bad times.

He rested his head against the cold tile and thought of his unborn son. He had never felt so alone in his life when he actually needed someone. This was one of those bad times where he needed his wife who also needed him but it wasn't going right.

His body began to shake with sobs, and he sank to the bottom of the tub on his knees, the cold shower water still running. He cried for his son and for his wife who seemed to be dieing inside.

* * *

**A/N: Oh my, I was tearing up when I was writing this. Its just sooo sad! (cries) Well I shall be writing more, and updating soon. Please review; it's only a button and a couple of words away. **


	14. Chapter 14

**Inconsolable**

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect. **

* * *

Catherine locked herself in her room while Gil had gone downstairs to have breakfast, like he said he would, and face his mother-in-law.

He avoided her gaze as got himself a plate toped with some freshly made pancakes. He poured some syrup on them and picked up his fork, only to finding that he had no appetite. He sighed at put down his fork with a clink, Lily still watching him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"No not really," he replied.

"It's a shame that my pancakes have to go to waste." Lily picked up the plate that sat in front of Gil.

"I'm sorry Lily. I don't have much of an appetite." Gil rubbed his temples feeling a migraine coming.

"I could imagine. Why don't you go and rest and by the time dinner is ready, you'll have your appetite back."

"Catherine locked the door… again," he replied. Great, he needed his medicine and somewhere to sleep and the only place was behind a locked door with is inconsolable wife inside.

"You can go in my room," she offered and Gil didn't attempt to argue with her.

"I need my medicine too. I'm getting a migraine."

"I'll get it for you."

"Thanks."

---

Lily lightly knocked on the door. "Catherine, honey. Open the door. I need to get something."

"Go away," she said slowly sounding like Lindsey when she wad mad.

"Catherine, open the door," she said sternly in a motherly voice. She waited until she heard the lock of the bedroom click.

"What do you want?"

"Not you." Lily moved around her and went into the bathroom for Gil's pills. "You drove your husband into a migraine."

"Maybe if he stopped playing dumb, he wouldn't have a migraine and we wouldn't have argued." Catherine sat on her bed, her back slouched.

"Maybe he's not playing dumb Catherine. Maybe you're not thinking straight."

"Yeah, I'm the one who just lost her baby so I'm suppose to be the crazy one, right?"

"You're not supposed to be, you just are." Lily was always the person to tell the truth, especially her daughter. She had always said the hardest thing to hear was the truth. Lily left and closed the door behind her.

"Here you go," she said quietly setting down a glass of water and a napkin with two pills.

"Thank you Lily." Gil sat up and took the pills. "Do you think Catherine needs therapy?" Gil asked after he downed the glass.

"No, Gil. I think she just needs time."

The royal question popped into his head, "How much time?"

---

Dinner was awkward. The tension that floated in the air was almost visible. Lindsey ate quietly, Gil and Catherine picking through their food and Catherine drinking more than eating.

"How was work today Lindsey?" Lily asked her granddaughter.

"It was okay. There was this really cute guy there with his mom. He tipped well and with a phone number."

"I remember when guys were handing me numbers and hotel keys in my day."

"Hotel keys?" Lindsey asked trying not to laugh.

"That was how Vegas was then. All about sex, money and power."

"There is no sex in these teenage years," Gil added. Lindsey rolled her eyes.

"Even if a guy handed me a hotel key, I'd be insulted and a little creeped out. It seems a little whorish… these days."

"Well good. So many young boys running around with god knows what. You need a young man who loves you for you and loves you no matter what. Like Gil."

"I know. Isn't mom lucky?"

"She sure is." Lily leaned closer to Lindsey, "Sometimes she's to blind to see it." Lindsey nodded in agreement.

Gil decided to take the last bite of his food and he excused himself from the table. A little while later, Catherine did the same.

As she reached for the doorknob to the door, it opened. Gil was fully dressed and his keys in his hands. He walked past her.

"Are you even going to wait for me?" she asked.

"To help you play out your, 'Gil hates me' fantasy, drive your own damn truck," he replied coldly before disappearing down stairs.

---

Everyone in the lab could feel the negative energy from the golden couple. It was obvious when Gil marched in angry and alone and a little while later, Catherine followed him.

Warrick watched as Gil handed out assignments without even glancing at her. He had only said her name because he had to, and he didn't hide it. Everyone else, besides Sara, decided to ignore it for now.

"Can I please not have ground work?" Catherine asked out loud. Gil had ordered her to stay in the lab and do paperwork and help process evidence.

"No Catherine. I don't think you're stable enough to do field work."

"Stable," she asked standing up.

Everyone looked up. They were all stunned. Gil and Catherine had their share disagreements while they were together, but by then end of shift they would have made up. They'd keep the their problems private most of the time and never argued in front of the team. Other times they would over hear the two in one or the others office

"Yes and until then, you will stay in this building until I think you're ready," Gil replied rather calmly, but his eyes told a different story.

"You're not my boss," she said looking him in the eye.

"Well then take you're complaints to him," he ended it coldly before walking out of the break room. Sara slowly got up and followed him out.

Catherine stood in the same spot with tears threatening to fall down her face.

"Cath, you okay?" She felt Warrick's hand lightly touch her shoulder. She moved her shoulder, moving his hand off of her, and a tear quickly fell down her face, but she wiped it away.

"I'm fine. I guess I'll be in the lab if you need me," she said without turning around and going to hide in her office.

"What's up with that, man?" Nick asked.

"I don't know. I think this whole miscarriage thing has all their wires crossed," Warrick replied.

"It's kind of scary," Greg said. "It's like seeing your parents in a really intense fight."

Warrick and Nick nodded their heads in agreement and sat pondering upon their thought for a minute.

"Come on Greggo. Let's crack this case so I can go home and do this all over again," the Texan accent of Nick said.

---

Sara walked at a fast pace, following her bosses' trail. She softly closed the door behind her. Gil looked up when he heard the soft click.

When he usually heard it, it was Catherine sneaking in or attempting to frighten him, but this time it wasn't. It was Sara. The young brunette he had meet in San Francisco while he gave a class. She had always admired him, but he knew that it was more than that in her mind.

"Hey," she said softly sitting in front of his desk, "You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," he replied. The look on his face said, 'I don't know what you're talking about'. They knew he did though. "I'm fine Sara. I'll meet you at the scene. I believe Brass is there."

"Oh," she said. "If you want to talk or anything. I'm here. I know it's hard for you and especially Catherine."

"Everything's fine," he nodded as if it would convince her. She got up and opened the door, but turned around.

"If you want to have breakfast and talk, I'm free after shift."

"Thank you again, but no thanks. I'm okay." She gave him a smile and left, leaving him in his own thoughts. He was angry with her. Some of the anger was because Catherine had started an argument in front of the team, but mostly because she questioned his attempts to protect her. For a CSI she was blind, not seeing that he was helping her.

---

_Stable?_ Catherine asked herself. So now she was the crazy bitch Gil hated. She closed her eyes and only saw Gil's. His eyes were cold like ice, pushing her down.

'_Maybe he was right,'_ she thought. _'Maybe it's just a stupid fantasy.' _

But she couldn't shrug it off of her shoulders. It sat here, soaking thoughts into her mind.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Inconsolable**

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect.**

**A/N: Chapter 15... Enjoy!**

* * *

Catherine sat bored in her office. She decided to check her email. Seeing that her sister emailed her yesterday, she clicked on the message. 

_Hey Cath. I heard about what happened. Mom called me… I'm sorry and I hope you, Gil and Lindsey are doing okay. How is Las Vegas without your baby sister? Jeremy is getting use to everything. He misses his friends a lot. He never stops reminding me. Isn't it amazing? He's almost seventeen!! Lindsey's growing up fast to. Last time I saw her she was ten, with tons of make up on. Again, I hope you guys are okay. I tried to call you earlier today, but no answer. Call me when you get a chance. Love you._

_Nancy._

She hit the reply button and began typing.

Hi. I wish I could say that everything is okay, but honestly it's not. I'd elaborate but I don't even know what's going on anymore. Jeremy is almost seventeen, huh? Lindsey's basically an adult. She goes to school, work and back to school and maybe she says hi to me. I miss you Nancy. Everything's different. When you think you have life all figured out, there's a bump. I'm glad you're doing fine. I'll try to call you. I love you too.

Catherine.

After sending it she logged off the computer and turned it off. She heard a knock in the door and Conrad Ecklie stood with his hands in his pockets.

"Ecklie," she replied sitting up.

"Catherine. How are you?"

"Right now? Pissed off because I'm stuck sitting here doing nothing," she said.

"I know you want to get out of here, but the chances of anything happening to you…"

"Yeah I know," she held up her hand, "Grissom already gave the speech."

"No paperwork?"

"Unlike Grissom, I don't let mine pile up."

"Then why don't you just leave?" he asked in a 'duh' tone.

"I'm tired of sitting at home." She rested her head in her hands. Ecklie stood in front of her desk. "Not that you'd know anything about working."

"Look Catherine, maybe you should go home."

"Did Grissom send you in here?" she asked with narrow eyes. "He's just desperate to get me away," she said more to her self.

"He didn't send me. I just came to make sure you weren't bleeding to death on my lab floors. Willows, go home or I'll suspend you." Before she could argue, he had left. Closing her eyes and winning the battle with the coming tears she gathered her things and walked angrily down the halls.

She passed Gil without acknowledging him.

"I'll meet you in DNA," he told Sara before going after Catherine.

"Where are you going?" he asked stepping in front of her, making her stop abruptly and almost bump into him.

"To the moon. Where do you think? You sent Ecklie to send me home and that's where I'm going," she replied her eyes were on fire and her mouth was stiff and tight like it usual was when she was angry.

"I… I didn't send Ecklie… What are you talking about?" Gil looked confused, because he was. Catherine laughed dryly.

"I love how you pretend to not know what's going on."

"Um, Cath… I don't," he replied. She starred at him.

"Fine," she said quietly and walking around him.

"Catherine. Why are you doing this?" he asked following her again.

"Walking? So I can leave."

"You know what I mean."

"Um, Gil… I don't," she mimicked him. The frustration built in Gil quickly.

"Fine," he mimicked her. He watched her angry body storm out of the lab.

---

Gil walked to the DNA lab wanting to hit himself… or anything. Catherine was frustrating him. He couldn't convince her that her mind was lying to her and that he had no clue what was going on.

He and Sara got their update on their evidence.

"…If the DNA comes up to our Jane Doe, that leaves us nowhere," Sara said with her eyes in the case file.

"And If it doesn't and it just gives us no names, were still nowhere," he replied. He took a seat behind his desk and sighed, his head in his hands.

"Is everything okay?" Sara asked, "You were fine just a few minutes ago."

"You know you invited me to breakfast? I think that I'll take the offer," he said when his stomach grumbled. He hadn't eaten much for dinner and Sara had offered to take him out for breakfast after shift.

Sara smiled, "Okay. Just let me know where you want to go."

"You pick," he said.

Sara shook her head thinking. "The Breakfast Shack. They have vegetarian dishes and meat dishes."

"Sounds good to me," Gil replied.

"Okay," she said sounding like someone who just made plans for their first date.

---

"What are you doing home?" Lily asked as Catherine stormed in the house.

"I need an invitation to come home now?"

"No. I thought you were working," she replied.

"I'm not anymore. Grissom somehow convinced Ecklie to basically kick my ass out the lab. He told me to come home or get suspended."

"Did you get to do anything?"

"Nope. I argued with Gil in front of everyone and then I sat in my office." She fell, more than sat, on the couch.

"You argued?"

"Yeah. He said I wasn't stable or something. I don't really care anymore." Lily sat next to Catherine who laid her head on her shoulder.

"Yes you do."

---

Sara watched as Gil signed out of the lab at the front desk. She smiled at Judy.

"Grissom," they all heard Ecklie call him. Gil groaned and turned around.

"Ecklie," he greeted. "What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to talk to you about your wife," he said.

"Why? You said that she could come back to work… not me." Sara watched while Judy pretended to be busy.

"You could have warned me that she wasn't mentally ready."

"If you knew how to do your job Conrad, you'd know that she needs to be evaluated by the department phyc."

"Look Grissom. We've already got one loose cannon running around that I tried to get rid of," he let his gaze go behind Grissom for a fraction of a second, then said, "We don't need two," before walking away.

* * *

**A/N: I know it's short. Kill me. I just wanted to give you guys something. Better a short chapter, then nothing right? Anyways, please review and I'll have chapter 16 up as soon as possible.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Inconsolable **

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect.**

**A/N: No school Friday, yay! Hopefully I don't go out of town this weekend so I can write, write, write.

* * *

**

Lily stuck her head in Catherine's dark. She lay on her back, starring up at the ceiling.

"Do you know if Gil is working late?" she asked.

"I don't know Mom. I'm lying here in the bed and my tracker on him isn't working," she said sarcastically.

"No need to shoot the concerned mother-in-law."

"It's five in the morning, shouldn't you be asleep?"

"Shouldn't you?" Lily asked back.

"I'm trying too," she replied turning over.

"Well if you decide to eat, breakfast will be at ten." Catherine groaned in response and Lily closed the door.

----

Gil followed Sara to the diner where they had planned to have breakfast. He turned the radio up, Beethoven playing through the speakers.

Once they were there, they got out of their vehicles. The waiter gave Sara her usual table, one in the far corner near the window.

They ordered; Gil and omelet and coffee and Sara got a vegetarian omelet, toast and some orange juice. The conversation was formal. They talked about work, cases, things that had came up in the last science magazines. Sara tried to stray away from anything about Catherine or the baby.

They sat back a little bit later, their bellies full. Sara tilted her head and looked at her boss.

"Do you wanna have some beers at my place?" She looked at her watch, "You'll love what's on Discovery Channel," she said. Knowing his ears would perk like dogs when he heard Discovery Channel.

"Um, let me call home and check on Lindsey first."

"Okay."

Gil excused him self from the cornered table and dialed his home number.

"Hello," Lily said.

"Hi Lily. Where's Lindsey?"

"She's asleep. Where are you Gil?"

"I'm… still at work," he lied, "When Lindsey wakes up can you tell her to call me before she leaves? I haven't talked to her in a while."

"Yes of course I'll do it. Have you talked to Catherine?" she asked.

"Uh, no. She just left work without a word," he lied again.

"She came home quite upset, but everyone knows shes a little drama queen," Leslie replied seeing or hearing through his lies.

"Yeah. I have to go."

"Alright. See you after work Gil."

"Bye," he hung up.

"Everything okay?" Sara asked.

"Yeah. So, those beers and Discovery?" Sara smiled.

----

Gil had cranked open about three beers while Sara had one. He felt the drowsiness from working, arguing and the beer fill his body.

"So how's Catherine and Lindsey?" she asked turning off the TV.

Gil sighed, "They're fine. They'll be fine. Let's not talk about me. How are you Sara?"

Sara smiled. As expected Gil had changed the subject so that it wasn't about him.

"Good," she replied getting up and taking the two empty beer bottles to the kitchen. "I think I might take a vacation soon, get away from the lab."

"We all need a vacation," he mumbled. Sara came back and handed him another cold bottle.

"Where would you go if you could vacation?" she asked.

"That's a good question. I don't know."

"Somewhere with a lot of bugs maybe?" They laughed.

"What about you. Where would you go?"

"Um, probably back to San Francisco. There's a lot I missed there. We actually meet there."

Gil nodded, "I remember. I was giving a speech and you asked a ton of questions."

"Hey, I was a curious girl."

Gil sighed, "We all seemed so much younger and life was easier."

"You were still old then," she laughed.

"I wasn't that old," he said looking at her. She looked back at him, her eyes moving down his face and to his lips. She leaned closer and kissed him.

Without thinking he kissed her back. Her hand found his scruffy cheek and she pulled him closer. After a few seconds, everything replayed in Gil's head.

The anger with her and him self poured through his veins. He grabbed her wrist and pushed her back immediately. She had a confused look on her face.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked.

"It's called kissing,"

"I know but why'd you do it?"

"Didn't you kiss me back too?

"Listen, I don't want to play your little games Sara. I love my wife and I know she's kind of messed up right now, but the last thing I can even stand is you taking advantage of me."

"You're hurting me," she said twisting her writs to escape.

"Don't try to ruin my marriage Sara. Stay the hell away from it." He released her and grabbed his keys. Sara sat on her couch hearing the door slam. She rubbed her soon to be bruised wrist. She never thought that Gil could be violent like that.

Gil climbed into his truck and started it. His hands hit the steering wheel making the horn blow.

"Damn it!" he said. He couldn't believe that he'd walked into Sara's plan. He hated the thought of someone taking advantage of him when he was vulnerable. What he hated most was that kiss.

Why would Sara go and kiss her boss who was married to his equal and they were kind of having problems due to the fact that they just lost a baby.

He pulled out of the parking lot and drove around. Wanting to go anywhere but home.

Gil's cell phone vibrated in his pocked. He moved around and retrieved it. The caller ID said home and he took a deep breath before answering.

"Grissom," he replied.

"Hey Dad," Lindsey said sleepily.

"Hey butterfly, what's up?"

"You asked me to call when I woke up," she said, "That's what Nana forwarded to me."

"Oh yeah," he said having forgotten. "I just wanted to see if you were okay. I know I've been diverting all of my attention to Catherine and work."

"I'm fine Dad."

"Linds…"

"No really I am. Mom needs you more than I do right now."

"If you need anything you know you can say so right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Don't be late to school… and be good," he said.

Lindsey laughed a little. "Will do. Love you."

"Love you too butterfly."

Gil hung up his phone. He stopped at the red light and rubbed his poisoned lips. Over and over he played the recent situation in his head. What the hell was he thinking? What was she thinking? Gil was a faithful man, especially to Catherine. Just looking at another woman was a sin.

Yes they were having a hard time right now, and kissing Sara or anyone was not the right thing right now.

Gil found himself in the parking lot of the crime lab. He didn't remember driving there. He had just let his hands drive him anywhere but home.

Sitting in his office, he glanced up from a case file.

"Warrick?" he said making sure that was him who walked by. Warrick confirmed it when he appeared a few seconds later.

"Hey Grissom. What you doing here?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing. Shift's been over for hours," he replied.

"I was working on some extra hours Ecklie piled on me."

"Ecklie put more hours in for you?"

"Yeah, but it's fine. I don't have anything else to do," Warrick replied. "What are you doing here? Why not home with Catherine?" Warrick stood behind the guest seat that Catherine always occupied when she wasn't on the corner of the desk or in Gil's lap.

"I just need some time to think, let off some steam," he told him truthfully.

"The best place for that is the shooting range."

Gil thought for a moment, "Do you want to join me for some rounds?"

Warrick looked at his watch, "I would, but Tina…"

Gil nodded understandingly, "I understand."

"Maybe next time," he replied.

"Go home and get some sleep."

"You too boss."

Gil sat back, closing the case file as Warrick left. The shooting range didn't sound too bad right now. He grabbed his keys and his gun from his bottom drawer.

---

Gil cocked his gun. His red earphones protected his ears from the other shooters. He raised his arms, making them parallel to the floor aiming at the cardboard target man,

He took his first shot that hit right in the forehead. He took a couple of more shoots hitting the same spot. Soon he changed the target and hit it continuously. He felt some of the anger rise in himself as he shoot.

If only he could shoot away the dark cloud lingered above, ruining what was perfect.

* * *

**A/N: How was chapter 16? Please review! **


	17. Chapter 17

**Inconsolable **

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect.**

**A/N: I don't want this fic to be too long, so I'll probably wrap it up in a couple more chapters. Sequel maybe?

* * *

**

Gil wiped his mouth once more, as if the memory was stuck to his lips. He hit the steering wheel. After shooting a couple of rounds and almost breaking down into tears, he was still angry.

He pulled into the driveway of his quiet home, wanting to be anywhere but here. Going into the house, he tried to be as quiet as possible, not wanting to wake anyone up at six thirty in the morning.

Lily heard the front door open and close quietly from the kitchen. She poured two cups of the freshly made coffee she was preparing.

"Good morning," she said greeting Gil in the living room.

"Lily, what are you doing up?"

"Waiting for you. Here I made you some coffee," she handed him the cup. "It's hot."

"Waiting for me?"

"Yes. I wanted to talk."

"What would you want to talk about at six thirty in the morning Lily?" he asked.

"You. I wanted to know if you were okay. I don't want to find that you locked yourself in your office hunched over a new insect species."

"I appreciate your concern Lily, but it's six thirty in the morning," he repeated, "I've been up since… I don't know when… but I need to sleep." He handed her back the hot mug and moved past her.

Lily sighed. It was half what she expected. He'd sit and talk, or choose option b, decline the conversation and go to bed.

---

Catherine was laying in the king size bed alone, again. She was looking up at the darkness, hearing Gil's heavy sleepy feet climb the stairs. She closed her eyes waiting for him to jiggle the doorknob to find it locked, but he didn't.

He went to the bathroom and threw some water on his face, and retrieved his migraine medicine from the cabinet behind the mirror. The pilled traveled down his throat, without water, as he shut his eyes.

Going back downstairs, he lay on the couch asleep before his head was down.

_Catherine was in the bathroom. Gil sat on their bed waiting. He heard the toilet flush and her emerge, wiping her hands with a towel. _

"_So?" he asked standing up._

"_We have to wait fifteen minutes," she replied. _

"_Fifteen minutes… right." Catherine smiled and sat down pulling his arm._

"_Are you nervous?" she asked._

"_Uhh… a little," he replied, "Are you?"_

_Catherine snorted, "Hell yeah. I am way too old for this."_

"_No, I'm too old for this."_

"_You are kind of old," she joked. "Let's put it this way, were both too old for this." _

"_But, whatever the outcome, we'll still be happy right?"_

"_Of course Gil." She grabbed his hand._

"_I want this more than anything Cath, but what if something happens to you or…"_

"_It won't."_

"_But…-" Gil was cut off by Catherine's lips. _

"_That always made you shut-up." _

"_You better do it again, before start to talk." Catherine smiled and kissed him again. They slowly lay back, Gil laid beside her, his hand resting on her hip. _

"_I love you," whispered in his ear and his nibbled on the skin under her ear._

"_I love you too," he said looking into her eyes, then kissing her again. A beeping sound went off in the bathroom. They sat up and looked at each other._

_Catherine slowly got up and disappeared into the bathroom. She appeared in the doorway, holding the tool that determined their fate. _

_Gil anxiously looked at her. She looked up at him; her eyes were getting moist._

"_Well…I guess…" she said shrugging. Gil's shoulders slouched and he looked down to the floor. "We better make room for one more," she said a smile appearing on her face as a tear quickly rolled down her cheek. _

_Gil looked up and smiled. He got up and wrapped his arms around her, lifting her up and spinning her around. He had also developed tears in his eyes, threatening to spill from the corners._

"_I can't believe it…" she said._

"_We're pregnant," he finished her sentence. _

"Dad… Dad." Gil woke up feeling a nudge on his shoulder. He jumped up, Lindsey backed up quickly. "Dad, you okay?" she asked.

He looked at her looking lost for a moment, "Yeah," he wiped his face. "Yeah, I'm fine. What's up?"

"You didn't look too comfortable on the couch. Go upstairs in my bed."

No, you sleep. I'm good," he argued.

"I'm about to go to work."

"What time is it?" he asked looking at his wrist.

"Eleven twenty. Come on." She grabbed his arm and helped him up. "Mom still hasn't let you back in?"

"After yesterday, no."

"What happened?" she asked as they went upstairs.

Gil shook his head, "Never mind."

"Nana went out to get some groceries. You think you and mom can stay here all by yourselves?" she asked.

"We're not ten Linds," he said.

She snorted, "You're acting like your ten using big people words."

"One hundred percent cooperation is needed. Not fifty."

"Let me guess, you're the only one contributing?"

"Looks like it."

"Maybe you should stop waiting for Mom and giving her all the time in the world. Mom needs rules too. Not everything is about her."

Gil sat on the young girls bed and thought about her words. Was she really taking advantage of him and using all this time to avoid him?

"I have to go. I'll see you later." She kissed him on the cheek.

"Bye Butterfly," he said.

"Bye Dad."

He had to stop waiting for himself before he could stop waiting for her.

* * *

**A/N: Sadness. (cries) What is Gil going to do? **


	18. Chapter 18

**Inconsolable **

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect.**

**A/N: Sadly, maybe two more chapters... and then a sequel. Tell me what you guys think.

* * *

**

A week went past and nothing changed except the distance between husband and wife, Gil and Catherine Grissom. It had become routine for Catherine to stay in the room all day and for Gil to sleep on the couch until Lindsey left. They'd see each other for a fragment of a second and during dinner in which Lily forced both of them to attend weather they ate or not.

Now Gil sat in his office opposite Warrick.

"You did what?" he asked his boss.

"Do I have to repeat myself?"

"Yeah, until I get this straight."

Gil sighed at repeated his story, "I went out to breakfast with her, went over to her apartment and had some drinks and we kissed. It has taken me all week to stop rubbing my lips."

Warrick shook his head, "Man Griss."

"I didn't mean to. I pushed her off. I was angry and I yelled…"

"And you're just telling me this now. How long ago was this?"

"A week ago. The night I went to the shooting range."

"Have you talked to Sara?"

"No. To be honest, I'm scared. I don't know what to say to her," he rambled.

"Grissom, what's up with you. You don't usually do this… ramble."

Gil shrugged his shoulders. "When your life gets screwed up, you change a little."

"Well, does Cath know?"

"No and I didn't really want to plan to tell her. She hasn't talked to me in days and when she does see me she looks at me like… I don't even know."

"Maybe you guys need a counselor and Cath needs a therapist."

"Maybe," he mumbled.

Warrick's cell phone rang informing him of a text message.

"My body's in the morgue. Look Griss, you and Cath need professional help before this goes down the toilet. Harsh words, but the truth."

"Thanks War."

"No problem. I'm available whenever."

Gil laid his head on his desk when Warrick left. His third migraine this week was coming in.

---

Sara killed her engine in the Grissom driveway. She approached the house and knocked on the door waiting for response.

It was seven; her shift would start in about forty-five minutes so she had time.

"Hi Lily," she smiled and took off her sunglasses, "I'm here to see Catherine."

"Come in," Lily said slightly surprised to see her. "I'm not sure if she's up for visitors, but I'll check."

"Thanks." Lily disappeared leaving Catherine in the living room. She looked at the pictures on the tables of the Grissom family.

A few of Sam and Lily were displayed, but she couldn't take her eyes off one in particular; Gil and Catherine stood alone. Gil had his arms wrapped around her waist, standing behind her with his head on her shoulder. Catherine was leaned back against him, but not looking at the camera – head tilted, looking at Gil with a smile on her face.

She reached out and touched it before softly placing it face down.

---

"Catherine," Lily said.

"What?" she asked annoyed.

"There's some one here to see you," she replied.

"Who?"

"Sara."

"Tell her I'm busy."

"Doing what? Wasting your life."

"Sounds better what I was going to say."

Lily bit her bottom lip, "She said it was about a case. She needed some help," she lied. She knew, sadly, it was the only thing that would get Catherine up.

"Tell her I'll be down in a minute," she answered turning off the TV.

---

"Took some tugs, but she'll be down," Lily replied.

"Thank you. I'm sure she'll be… pleased with the information I have to share." Lily nodded.

"Well make yourself at home."

"Thank you." Sara took a seat on the couch.

Catherine came down minutes later. She had washed her face and brushed her hair, trying to make it look as if she hadn't spent all week in her room. It was still obvious, however.

"Hi," she greeted the young CSI.

"Hi. How are you feeling?"

"Good," she liked. "My mom said you needed help with something."

Sara looked confused and shook her head. "Uhh, no. I wanted to talk to you actually."

Catherine silently cursed her mother for tricking her. She forced a smile and sat down. "About what?" she asked.

"Um," Sara laughed, "Gil."

Catherine rolled her eyes. "I can't help you."

"I never said I needed help Catherine. I wanted to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk about Gil. I'm sorry," she replied standing up and heading back upstairs.

"So I guess he told you then," she said making Catherine stop.

"Told me what?" she asked turning around.

"About us."

Catherine stared at the young woman. She could see the sparkle in her eyes. She was enjoying this.

"Our… growing relationship."

"What are you talking about?"

"A couple of nights ago, we shared a… moment. You never said that Gil liked it rough. I always thought of him a gentle man."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Catherine asked. "Gil would never–"

"Never what?" Sara pulled her sleeve revealing her bruised arm. It was obvious that some one had grabbed her. "Never do this? Mr. Loyalty _isn't_ high and mighty." Catherine read the hate in Sara's eyes.

"Why are you doing this?"

"To give you what you both deserve."

"Well Sara sorry to say that you've failed if you're trying to push us apart. This whole situation has beaten you to it. You're just a pest stuck in the middle. If you have nothing better to do than try to help push the ball along to ruin Gil and I then get out!" Catherine's jaw locked. She bit her tongue so she wouldn't say anything else. She could taste the blood.

"I'm just letting you know that Gil is ready to leave you sooner than you think."

Catherine noticed the picture on the table of her and Gil was face down, "We left each other a long time ago," she said starring at it before her gaze went back to Sara, "If you want him, you can have him."

Catherine went back upstairs, back to her room, back to her hiding spot, back to her own world.

"What are you doing?" Lily asked emerging from the kitchen. Her eyes were in rage as she glared at Sara.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't give me that," she said sounding like Catherine, only scarier, "You came here intentionally to hurt Catherine. Don't take what Gil has or hasn't done to you out on Catherine. She's in enough pain already."

"Lily, stay out of this. This has nothing to do with you." Sara turned on her heel and left. Lily stood in the living room and went upstairs to find Catherine crying again.

"Catherine, sweetheart."

"Mom, please. I don't want your sympathy right now."

"I'm sorry. I'm sure everything she said was in her imagination," she said.

"Mom…" Catherine sniffed. "I just want to be alone okay?"

Lily nodded sadly and slowly got up. Once she left, Catherine burst into tears. _'So Gil hates me this much, huh?'_

---

"_Hey Sara, I know I'm probably the last person you want to talk to right now, this is important. I left early, so I'll be waiting at your apartment. Returning this call is optional."_

Sara hung up her phone and turned to see Grissom walking down the hallway of the crime lab towards the exit.

"Earth to Miss. Sidle," Greg said waving his hand in her face as he came into the break room.

"Sorry," she said. "What were you saying?"

"About the DNA results; it was a match."

---

Warrick knocked on the Grissom door. It was his night off and Tina had to work, killing their plans of a romantic evening together.

Lily opened the door. "Hi Warrick," she said gretting him.

"Hi Lily," she replied hugging him. She invited him inside and out of cold night. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. How are you?"

Warrick smiled, "I'm good. Is Catherine here?" he asked.

"If she didn't sneak out the window," Lily laughed.

"I came to see her, check up on her. Tina has to work…"

"Come in Warrick." Warrick followed her inside. "She's had a bad day. Please don't be disappointed if she doesn't want any visitors.

"I wouldn't blame her."

Lily went up to Catherine's bedroom.

"What?" she murmured when she heard her mother's knock.

"Warrick is here," Lily replied.

Catherine lifted her head before sitting up. "Send him upstairs," she replied after a moment. She unlocked the door and went back to the bed when she heard her mom disappear.

Minutes later she heard the doorknob being turned and Warrick appeared on the other side.

"Hi," he said gently with a warm smile.

"Hi Warrick," she replied.

"How are you?" he asked.

Catherine shrugged and looked around the messy room. "Involuntarily alive."

He found a spot on the end of the bed. Catherine sat against the headboard with her head resting on her knees.

"How's Lindsey?"

"Fine," she lied. She hadn't seen her only child in week. The status of her feelings was unknown to Catherine. All she knew was that she was alive.

"How's Tina?"

"She's fine. She's been busy working. It was supposed to be our night together… but."

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. So, Lily told me you were having a bad day." Catherine's small smiled faded. She knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Yeah, I had a surprise visitor."

"Who?" he asked leaning in a bit.

Catherine felt her eyes stinging; the tears were coming. "Sara," she said in a barley audible tone.

Warrick closed his eyes and sighed, "Damn," he whispered, "What did she say?"

Catherine starred at a spot on the ground. "She just informed me of her and Gil's 'growing relationship'."

"Damn… damn," he said shaking his head, "What the hell did she tell you?" He was becoming angry.

Catherine shook her head, "I don't know. I spent all night erasing the whole conversation from my head." She stared at him. He knew something, "Do you know something Warrick?"

He couldn't look at her. He couldn't lie to this woman; his best friend, his boss, the woman who had just lost her baby.

"Rick, look at me." He did as ordered at looked into her sad, almost lifeless eyes. "Did you know about this? Did you know about them?"

"Cath," he said. "Please don't cry," he said watching her eyes becoming moister, "It's not like it sound. I don't know what Sara told you, but half of it is probably a lie." He didn't want her to cry and he didn't want to bare any bad news that would make her cry.

"What half is the lie?"

"I can tell you the half that is the truth because I don't know what she told you."

"Form what it sounded like, Gil just hates me enough to go sleep with another woman. And_ her_."

"Whoa, whoa. First of all Gil doesn't hate you, second he didn't sleep with anyone… from what he told me. How could you think he could hate you Cath?"

She looked at him as if it were the most ridiculous thing anyone could ever say. "We all know why. I don't care what Gil did or didn't do with Sara. I don't want to hear it either. I… Warrick… just… please leave."

"Catherine you can't just say whatever–"

"Warrick!" she yelled. She lowered her voice, "Please. I am tired of hearing his name; I'm tired of getting the fact that Gil hates me shoved into my face. I know it. I get it. I hate myself. I hate the world," the tears spilled over. Warrick moved closer to Catherine, "for taking away what was mine. What was ours…" she sobbed on his shoulder, her fist grasping his shirt as she cried.

"Shhh," he said stroking her soft hair. He rocked her back and forth, hushing her until she fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

**A/N: So if anyone may have teared up while reading, you can have some of my Kleenex. I almost cried writing this. PS: Sorry for making Sara a biotch. **


	19. Chapter 19

**Inconsolable **

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect.**

**A/N: I think I'll do one or two chapters after this one. Enjoy!

* * *

**

Gil sat outside Sara's apartment. A few people gave him weird looks because he sat on the floor with his elbows on his knees and his hand in his head.

"Hey," he heard a voice. He looked up and Sara was there.

"Hi," he stood up. "You got my message?"

"Uh, yeah. You want to go in before the whole building knows turns us into a soap opera?"

"Yeah, sure," he replied.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Sara asked as she threw her keys on her kitchen counter.

Gil scratched his head. The sturdy, and without question Gil had changed. He wasn't sure and it took him longer to think. His mind was scattered across the world.

"I'm no sure…" he replied. "I guess… I don't know," he was getting frustrated.

"If this is about what happened last week, its okay," she said, "I know it was a stupid move and it was made by me." After a moment of silence Sara spoke. "Do you want to have a drink? I put some beers in the fridge before shift."

"Sure," Gil replied shrugging.

---

Lindsey's eyebrows rose suspiciously as she entered the house in the early morning. She had stayed at a friend's house and drove herself home.

She heard laughing, which she knew wasn't her mothers. She hadn't laughed in what seemed like forever.

"Hi Nana… and Warrick. What are you doing here?"

"Hey Linds. I just came to check on your mom," he replied wiping his mouth. Lily had whipped up a batch of her famous pancakes and was glad that someone, other than Lindsey, actually ate them instead of stabbing them like a experiment.

"Is she okay?" she asked. She hadn't talked to her mother in a week.

"Yeah, she's fine."

"Are you hungry Linds?"

"No. Not really. I stopped by McDonalds."

"You know that stuff isn't good for you. Haven't you seen that one movie… what's it called?"

"_Super Size Me_," Warrick helped her.

"Yes. Thank you Warrick. Haven't you seen that?"

"Yeah. Right after that I wanted McDonalds," she replied. "Is Dad here?"

"No. I think he's still out."

"Did he call?"

"No. Why?"

Lindsey shrugged, "I was just wondering. Haven't seen him for a couple of days." Warrick looked at her. She sounded sad. She had right to be. Both of her parents were becoming more and more distant from each other and their family.

After Catherine had married Gil and she had become pregnant things sort of changed. Catherine was home more. Even though it was a couple hours more, it was a lot to Lindsey. She also had Gil, a father, to love her too. When she turned sixteen she was a busy teenager- school, working and ballet.

But she loved it. The way her life was. She'd be home right before Gil left for work. The Grissom's would have dinner, bid Gil and Catherine farewell. Her mother would come home earlier, which meant she would wake up earlier. On the weekends they'd go shopping, to the movies or to lunch.

Now it was completely different. Lindsey felt like she was five again; Mom worked and Dad wasn't around a lot.

"Hey Linds, you wanna go catch a movie or something."

"No thanks…. I have homework I need to do. Sorry," she lied.

"It's okay. Gotta keep those grades up."

"Yeah… I'll see you guys later."

"Bye," Warrick said. Lily looked at him.

"It's not just effecting those two, it's effecting her too. They're so distracted by themselves they forgot they're parents and they have child, a teenager," Lily said once the teenager had left.

"They just don't know what to do," Warrick replied before he retrieved his vibrating cell phone from his pocket.

---

After a few drinks, Gil still sat on Sara's couch.

"So how's Catherine?" Sara asked.

Gil snorted and shrugged, "You'd have to ask her."

"Maybe she should come back to work. I dunno, maybe it'll distract her."

Gil shook his head; "I don't think she's ready. And you heard Ecklie." Sara nodded, she was there, she heard.

"Yeah." She took a deep breath, ready to ask the hard questions. "When do you think she'll be ready?"

Gil's eyes fell to his lap. He shook his head, "I don't know. Never maybe."

Sara smiled inside. Gil was opening up to her. She expected a tougher wall to breakthrough, but just a tap and she was in.

"I bet no one's asked you this, but are _you_ okay?"

Gil's sad, lost eyes found hers. "No," he replied without hesitation. There was a minute of silence. "I get so angry… Like last week with you. I'm sorry."

"I said it was okay," Sara put her hand on his arm.

"No it's not," he said finding himself getting angry again. "I hurt you. I'm sorry." Sara smiled at him. He was always a kind person and never intended to hurt anyone no matter what. "What is wrong with me?" he put the beer bottle on the side table.

"Nothing is wrong with you, Grissom. You are the kindest man I've ever met. I know you didn't do it intentionally. I mean, with all the crap that Catherine is giving you… you deserve the right to be angry."

"I wish none of this happened. I wish I could forget and I could go back before Catherine got pregnant. I love her too much to loose her."

Sara rolled her eyes when he wasn't looking. Hearing about his love for Catherine wasn't apart of her plan.

"I can help you forget."

Gil snorted and laughed, but stopped when he felt Sara's hand on his face. She lifted his chin and kissed him. She felt him tense up he pushed her back.

"Sara…"

"Get angry. Let it go" She kissed him again putting on more force. "Get angry Gil…" Gil kissed her back with more force than she applied.

He was angry and showing it.

---

Catherine sat on the floor of the shower. Her knees were dram up to her chest and she rested her head on her arms. Beads of hot water beat her skin. So many thought were running through her mind. She closed her eyes.

"_Promise me that you'll always be here," she said looking deeply into his blue eyes._

"_I promise," he replied placing a kiss on her lips._

"_Don't ever leave Gil…"_

_He gave her a small smile, "I won't. I love you too much."_

Turning off the hot water and climbing out the shower, she wrapped a robe around her body, not caring that she hadn't dried off.

She wiped the steam from the mirror and stared at herself. Her face was drained of its normal healthy color. The bags under her eyes were visible, but not dark. She had lost a majority of her baby weight from not eating.

Tears welt up in her eyes as she looked at herself. This wasn't her. This wasn't the Catherine Willows she knew. Everything she had worked for and built had been knocked down again– the first time being the whole Eddie thing.

When would it end? When would she stop being punished for trying to live a stable and normal life? Why was this happening to her? Yes, she could bitch and whine about how her life _was_ so perfect, but what good would it do? She was cursed.

Her arm reached out and punched the mirror. She winced slightly at the pain that shot through her fist. Glass nestled between the cuts on her bloody knuckles. She made no effort to clean the mess or her hand. Instead she fell to the ground and laid her head on the cold tiles and cried.

'_What's the point?'_ she asked herself. _'What's the point in crying? What's the point not crying?' _

She sat up and sniffed, _'What's the point in living?'_

She thought it over. Lindsey didn't need her anymore. She was almost an adult and certainly acted like one. Lily didn't need her. Neither did anyone in the lab. There were enough brains there to solve cases most places couldn't. Most important was that Gil didn't need her.

"What's the point in living?" she asked herself again, this time out loud.

Slowly opening the cabinet, she eyed the contents. She reached out and grabbed an orange medicine prescription bottle. They were pain relievers prescribed to her, Catherine Willows. There were about thirty-five of the little pills left. She fingered the bottle and slowly twisted the cap off.

She tapped a couple into her hand and starred at the little pills. She turned on the water in the sink and tossed the pills into her mouth then filling her hand with water and drinking from there. She swallowed the four of five and took some more.

Her eyes began to tear up as she swallowed her third helping. She had swallowed at fifteen by now. She cried as if it had just hit her. The emotion behind this 'no point in living' thing was sinking in. Even though Lindsey didn't need her, her mother, the lab or Gil didn't need her, she'd miss them. She'd never see them and again and she'd need them.

She cursed herself. It wasn't going fast enough. She wanted this over and done with. She opened the mirror again, knocking the pill bottle into sink. She picked up one of Gil's old razors. Her shaky fingers took it apart, creating tiny cutes on the tips of her fingers in the process.

Once she had gotten one of the blades she held it against her wrist. Her hands shook. She looked up and the mirror, her reflection starred back. Her eyes were puffy, her face wet.

She pressed the blade into her skin and dragged it across. Her bottom lip quivered as the tears rolled. She watched the hot red liquid slowly pour out of the wound and move down her arm. She ignored the pain. She dropped the bloody blade and made her way out of the bathroom, blood dripping, making a trail.

Her head spun. The pills were beginning to take effect. She was almost to the bed before she fell on her knees. She tried to catch herself with her hands, but her bloody wrist gave out on her, making her fall on her face. She moaned in pain.

Her body tingled. She fought with the little energy she had and climbed onto the bed. Her eyelids felt like weights, as did her arms and legs. A single tear came from the corner of her eye.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled before she passed out.

---

Lindsey had taken a shower and was about to go downstairs before she heard a loud thud coming from her mother's room.

"Mom?" she called. She knocked lightly on the door and called her again, "Mom… I'm going to get something to eat. Did you want anything?" she asked.

There was no reply so she twisted the doorknob. To her surprise it was unlocked. She slowly pushed the door open. As the door opened she saw her mother lying on the bed asleep. She walked over to the bed. Her eyebrows knitted together when she spotted the blood. It soaked into the cream colored sheets and trailed from the bathroom.

Catherine lay on her stomach, her hair fanned out over her face.

"Oh my god. Mom? Mom wake up." Lindsey shook her shoulder. "Mom! Mom wake up!" Her eyes filled with tears, making her vision blurry. She pushed the hair out of her mothers face and looked at her pail features.

"What in the world is going on in here?" Lily asked standing in the doorway.

"Nana call 911! Call Dad! Call somebody!"

"What's going on?" Lily took a step into the room. "Oh my god. Catherine what have you done."

"Nana, call someone!" The young girl was crying. She found the wound and began to apply pressure with the blanket on the bed.

Lily fished her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed 911.

"I need an ambulance right now."

"_What is your emergency?"_

"My daughter is dying. Send someone."

"_Ma'am calm down. I need to know the injuries."_

"Listen, send someone now and ask questions later," Lily said irritated.

"_You're using a cell phone. Where are you located?"_

Lily gave the address and hung up.

"Mom." Lindsey kept repeating as she brushed the hair from her face.

"I'm going to call Gil," Lily said. She dialed Gil's cell phone number.

"_It's Gil Grissom and I'm not available at the moment…"_ the voicemail service picked up.

"Gil, it's Lily. Something's wrong with Catherine. I called 911. Come home as soon as possible," she said before hanging up. She dialed his office number but there was no answer. She then called the front desk asking if he were there.

"_No. Dr. Grissom left early. Would you like to leave a message?"_

"Tell him it's an emergency at home," she said hanging up again. "Whom do I call?" she asked.

"Call Warrick. Are the ambulance here yet?" Lily asked. Lily heard the sirens and looked out the window.

"Lindsey I'll be right back. I have to go let them in. Are you going to be okay?"

Lindsey nodded. She looked like a little girl now. "Just hurry."

Lily went downstairs and let them in. "She's upstairs."

The paramedics went upstairs, looking for their patient. Lily followed them.

Lindsey sat close to her mother, holding the bunched up blanket. One of the paramedics scanned to scene and the other looked closely at the patient. "Hey there. What'cha doing?" he asked as if he were talking to a young girl.

"I think I stopped the bleeding," she replied in sniffles.

"Let me see." The paramedic moved the blanket and looked at Catherine's wrist. Lindsey had indeed stopped most of the bleeding.

"Is she going to be okay?"

"I think so. I think you may have saved her life."

"Tom, we go pills in here," the other paramedic replied.

"We need to get her to the hospital now."

"What happened? What pills?"

"You're going to have to move, miss."

"What pills?!" Lindsey yelled.

"Lindsey," Lily said. "Come here. They need to take Catherine to the hospital.

"Charlie, we got a 220. Were coming down," Tom said into his walkie-talkie. Lindsey watched as they moved Catherine carefully.

"Can I go with her?" Lindsey asked.

"No sweetheart. I don't think there's any room," Lily replied.

"She can come. There's room for two."

"Nana we can't leave her all by herself. She's my mother." Lindsey moved away from Lily. "I'm going with her. Call Warrick and try to call Dad again." She said as she moved out of the room with the paramedics.

Once they left, Lily didn't touch anything. She dialed Warrick's number.

"Brown," his voice projected.

"Warrick, Catherine tried to kill herself."

* * *

**A/N: Intense. I know. Tell me what you think!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Inconsolable **

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect.**

**A/N: Been super busy. I got to write and update. Enjoy.

* * *

**

Warrick hurried through the hospital hallways. He stopped in front of the desk in the ER asking for the patient Catherine Grissom.

"Warrick," Lily said interrupting the 'You're not family' conversation between he and the nurse. He rushed over and hugged her.

"Is she alright?" he asked.

"She fine. They had to pump out her stomach and she lost a lot of blood," she reported. "She's under suicidal watch now. They're going to move her from the ER in a little bit."

"She tried to OD and cut her self?" he asked in disbelief.

Lily nodded.

"How are you Lily?"

"I'm fine. It's my grandchild and her mother I'm worried about. Lindsey found her. She never left Catherine's side, except when she had to."

"Where's Grissom?"

"I've been calling him for the past half hour, but he's not answering his phone."

"Well, since she's still in the no family zone, I'll go see if I can get a hold of Grissom," he said turning. He stopped when he felt Lily's hand give a slight tug back.

"Warrick Brown, you _are _family. I don't care what these doctors say." Warrick nodded to the older woman and followed her to Catherine's room.

---

Gil Grissom's phone vibrated in the pocket of his pants. Of course he didn't know because his pants were on the floor of someone's hallway and he was in someone's bed.

---

"Catherine, someone's here to see you." Lily said gently as she entered the room. Lindsey sat beside her mother in a chair her legs crossed and engrossed in the newest issue of _Seventeen_.

Catherine looked even worse than she did after she had her miscarriage. Her skin was milkier, pale. Her eyes were closed. When she heard her name, she lifted them slowly.

"Now there's a beautiful face," he said.

Catherine grunted. "Don't kid the world."

"Hey Linds." Lindsey returned a hello with a nod. "Can you give your mother and I one tiny second alone?" he asked.

"Why? Nothing you two talk about can be worse than this," she replied coldly.

"Come on Linds. We need to get some food in you," Lily said taking the magazine from her. The teenager quietly got up and went with her grandmother.

Warrick grabbed a chair and pulled it up to the side of the bed. Catherine shifted. The young man looked at her with worried eyes. What had gone so wrong in her life?

"How are you?" he asked.

She shrugged, opening her eyes the first time since he had arrived. He saw her light, almost clear blue eyes. They didn't glow or sparkle like they usually did. They looked dull, plain almost dead.

"Cath, please don't ever do anything like this again."

She gave him a small smile, "I won't." She chuckled, "Boy, the team is going to flip when they hear this."

"Grissom's going to flip when he hears… We can't reach him."

"Did you check at Sara's place?" she asked half jokingly.

"Cath…" he said in a warning voice. "Don't believe anything that Sara said. She has so many reasons to lie."

"What if she's not? Gil isn't a saint. He makes mistakes too."

"If he's lying, I'll make sure I give him a nice punch in the eye." Catherine smiled before giggling. Warrick smiled as he saw some color fill her eyes.

"You're always the one to make me laugh when I need it."

"Hey, that's what friends are for right?"

Catherine closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Mrs. Grissom, we're ready to move you now," a young nurse said coming in.

"What room?" Warrick asked.

"Three twenty four," she replied.

"Thanks. I'm going to see if I can get a hold of Gil."

She nodded, "Give Tina a visit too," she replied.

Once she was rolled out, Warrick pulled out his phone and dialed his boss's number.

---

Lily and her granddaughter sat at a small table in the hospital cafeteria.

"This looks worse than school lunch," she said poking her fort at some of the beef stew.

"Just eat it Lindsey."

"I'm not hungry," she said pushing her tray in front of her. "I ate when I got home."

"That was hours ago. I think between then and your mother being stupid and now, you gained some sort of an appetite." Lindsey shook her head. How could anyone eat after his or her mother had just been admitted to the hospital for attempting suicide?

"How could she do this Nana?" Lindsey asked continuing to play with her food. "I mean why would she?"

"Your mother is a complicated woman. She's just like Sam; she likes to make life hard," she replied.

"She just tried to end it, not make it a bit more challenging."

"But she lived. It's going to be so much harder now." Lily's cell phone began to vibrate and ring. "I got a message," she read holding it out in front of her since she did not have her glasses. "How do I check it?"

"You never got a text message?" Lindsey asked in disbelief.

"No. This would be my first. From… Warrick." Lindsey laughed and snatched the phone from her.

"It says, 'Cath moved to room 324'," she read aloud.

"How'd you do that?" she asked. Lindsey laughed and leaned over the table.

---

Gil rolled over in the foreign bed. He ran his hand through his ruffled hair and sat up. He looked around, not knowing where he was, but was reminded when he turned around to see a brunette lying next to him wrapped in a thin sheet.

He cursed silently. And carefully go up, gathering his clothing as he exited the room and made it out to the living room. Once he was fully dressed again he reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, which blinked, red with messages.

Six missed calls and one missed message. The calls alternated between Lily and Warrick and the message came from Warrick.

'Catherine at the hospital,' it read. He looked at the time. He had received it 2 and a half hours ago. Rushing out of the apartment he dialed Warrick's number, but there was no answer.

He then dialed Lily's, then Lindsey's but no one answered. He started the engine of the truck and speed off the Desert Palm.

"Hey Greg, do you know anything about Catherine being in the hospital?" Gil asked Greg who was on the other line.

"Uh, no. Is everything fine?"

"Um," Gil hesitated, "Yeah. Never mind. Thanks." He hung up. He threw his phone in the passengers seat and hit the steering wheel at the stoplight.

Thoughts ran through his mind, _'What the hell happened to Catherine.'_

Arriving at the hospital he parked in an open spot quickly, not bothering to lock the door. He sprinted to a desk with a nurse. Anywhere that gave him information was fine.

"My wife was admitted here today. I need to know where she is."

"Where was she admitted?"

"If I knew that I wouldn't be here."

"What's her name, sir?"

"Catherine Grissom."

"There's a Catherine Grissom on floor 3 room 24." Hearing the room number, Gil darted off to find her. Racing down the hallways he spotted Warrick and Tina walking down the hallway.

"Warrick!" The young man looked to up to see his bossed ruffed up. "Where's Cath?" he asked out of breath.

"In her room asleep. What the hell happened to you?"

"What happened?"

"Griss I think we should go talk," he replied.

"What the hell happened Warrick?!" Doctors, nurses and patients looked over at him.

"Gil, please lower your voice," Tina asked in her nurse tone.

Gil took a deep breath, "Sorry. I just need to know what happened. Is she okay?"

"She's fine," Tina replied. "She's asleep. Her doctor gave her something to help her sleep."

"Where are Lily and Lindsey?"

"Lily went to pick some stuff up from the house and Lindsey's in there asleep too." Gil ran his hand over his face and through his hair.

"Grissom lets go to the cafeteria. Get something to eat and talk man." Gil nodded and mumbled yeah.

"I see you later Tina," Warrick said to his wife.

"I love you."

"Love you too," he replied.

----

Grissom sat across from Warrick, his head down and slouching and starring at the heap of hospital food.

"Griss, you okay? You look like hell. What happened to you?"

"Warrick…" he said quietly, "I think I just made the biggest mistake of my life." He said before looking up.

* * *

**A/N: Kinda short, oui, but… Ok one or two more chapters and they'll be longer than this. I promise! Don't forget to review!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Inconsolable **

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect.**

**A/N: Been super busy. I got to write and update. Enjoy.

* * *

**

Lily stepped out of the elevator on floor three.

"Lily!" Tina called after her.

Lily smiled, "Hello Tina."

"Hi. You know Gil is here, right?"

"He made it?"

"Yeah, but he hasn't seen Catherine yet I don't think. Last time I saw him, Warrick took him to the cafeteria since Catherine was asleep."

"Oh," she sighed, "Thank you Tina."

"Lily," she called out as the older lady walked away, "I hope that Catherine is fine."

"Me too."

Lily went to Catherine's room a quietly opened the door. Lindsey was asleep in the couch with a blanket over her. Catherine lay on her side asleep as well.

She sat the overnight bag at the end of the bed. Lindsey stirred and opened her eyes.

"Nana?" she asked.

Lily shushed her, "Catherine's still asleep." Lindsey glanced at her mother.

"I'm hungry," she whispered yawning.

"Well we can see Gil in the cafeteria." Lindsey stopped and looked at her grandmother.

"Dads here?"

"Yes. He's in the cafeteria with Warrick."

"I'm not hungry anymore," she replied.

"Lindsey? What's wrong?"

"Mom got admitted in the hospital three hours ago and he's just getting here?" Lily couldn't argue with her, but she tried to anyways.

"Maybe he was doing something and was really busy."

"Even when Mom was really busy she was here in the blink of an eye." She sat back into the chair, throwing the blanket back over her body.

"Lindsey…"

Lindsey closed her eyes and ignored her. The elder woman sighed. "Well I'm going to see Gil. I'm sure he'll be up soon."

---

Warrick sat back in the booth and rubbed his face. He didn't believe what he had just heard.

"How did this happen?"

"I don't know. If I could take it back…"

"Grissom man. What the hell?"

Gil's eyes were red. Every emotion flowed through his veins. How did he let this happen? With Sara Sidle of all people. He closed his eyes to stop the tears.

"Gil?" Lily said seeing him. He looked up at his mother-in-law.

"Is Catherine alright?" he asked.

"Yes, she's asleep. Are you alright?"

He sniffed and wiped off his face.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm just worried about Cath. Where's Linds?"

"She's in the room with Catherine."

"She's fine, right?"

"Yes."

"I need to go and see them…" he stood up.

"Gil sit down. We need to talk."

Warrick looked at the elder woman and then to his boss. Gil sat back down slowly.

"I'll go see how Cath and Lindsey are doing," he said standing up to let Lily sit down.

"Thank you Warrick." She sat down across from Gil. Her heart weakened at the sight of the strong, stern man. "Gil…"

"Lily, I don't see how _he_ can go see _my_ family and I can't."

"Because he's been here since they steeped into this building. You're just getting here three hours later," she replied.

"I know. I just got the messages."

"Where were you?" she asked, "What if Catherine had died? What…"

"Lily, please. Stop," he whispered, "I know I screwed up."

"You're damn right. You know you just coming isn't going to help you get back to Catherine."

"Lily, I screwed up way past that point."

---

"Knock, knock," Warrick said softly as he entered room 324.

Catherine lay away with the remote in her hand. She flipped thought the channels of the hospital TV.

"Hey," she replied.

"How you feeling?"

"Better I guess," she replied.

"Good."

"Where's Lindsey?"

"She went down the hallway for some towels for the bathroom," she replied. "What's wrong?" she asked noticing the look in his eyes.

He looked at her. She was his best friend. He could read her like a book. Something in he heart made him stop himself from saying anything. If she had to know, Gil would tell her. Warrick couldn't always be the person to let Grissom escape.

"Nothing. I'm just glad you're better. You mom's back and she's down in the cafeteria. She'll be up in a minute," he said.

"Okay."

"I'm gonna go see if they need me in the lab. I'll be back later."

"Warrick…" she called out as he opened to door, "Please don't tell the guys what happened."

He nodded, saying that he wouldn't tell. He softly closed the door behind him. He saw Lindsey coming down the hallways with a couple of towels in her hands.

"Hey Linds."

"What's up?"

"Did you know that your Dad was here?"

"Yeah," she sighed.

"Did you tell your Mom?"

"No. I'm trying to eliminate all the stress from her life right now," she said coldly.

"You okay?"

She sighed, "Yeah. What about Dad?"

"I don't want Catherine to know he's here either."

"Why?"

"Everyone has to stop doing stuff for Gil. He needs to do it himself."

"What are you taking about?" she asked.

Warrick shook his head, "Nothing. Just keep her in the dark about it, okay?"

"No problem," she replied.

"Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"You're leaving?"

"I'm going to run to the lab – see if they need me. I'll be back."

"Okay. See you later," she called out.

* * *

**A/N: An update, finally. Sorry for the hold up. The holidays are always busy. Please review. **


	22. Chapter 22

**Inconsolable **

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect.**

**A/N: Been super busy. I got to write and update. Enjoy. PS, I hate school.

* * *

**

"Hey 'Rick, you hear anything about Catherine?"

"Uhh, why?" he asked not wanting to lie.

"Grissom called me… where is Grissom?"

"Call him. If he wants you to know, he'll tell you."

Nick came into the break room, "Hey man is something going on that I'm not apart of?" he asked.

"What?" Warrick asked.

"Grissom is gone, Sara just came in late and you keep coming in and out. What's going on?" the young Texan asked.

Warrick sighed. He didn't want to dishonor Catherine and tell them, but he didn't want to lie to them either.

"Look," he said, "There was an emergency and Grissom had to go. I don't know what's up with Sara though. I'm surprised Ecklies not on her ass."

"Oh he is. If you walk past the locker room you can hear his dumb ass lecture," Greg said.

"CSI BROWN!" Ecklie said. Warrick rolled his eyes. "What is wrong with Grissom's team? Where have you been Brown?"

"Out," he replied. "I was with Grissom."

"Where is Grissom?"

"He's out for an emergency."

"What emergency?"

Warrick looked around at the guys who had concerned looks on their faces. "Catherine was admitted to the hospital a couple of hours ago."

Just as he said that, Sara walked into the break room. Warrick gave her dirty glance that Nick caught. She broke the eye contact and looked down at her feet.

"Is she alright?" Greg asked.

He nodded, "She's fine. She doesn't want you guys to worry though."

"What happened?" Ecklie asked surprising everyone of his concern.

"I promised I wouldn't tell. You can go see her or call her. You guys will find out sooner or later, but I don't want to disrespect her wishes."

"We understand man," Nick said.

Ecklie cleared his throat, "Can we get back to work?" he asked. His words weren't bitter or bitchy.

---

"Gil I understand that this path month has been terribly difficult. We've all mess up."

He nodded, deciding to keep it to himself. His goal was to hurt as little people as possible. He didn't exactly know Lily's reaction and he didn't want to find out. It would probably be a mini episode of Catherine.

Gil sat through another ten minutes of conversation- Lily did most of the talking.

"Can I just go see them now?" he asked. Lily studied him making sure he was ready mentally, but both his physical and mental health seemed to be down hill.

"I guess so. I can't stop you," she shrugged.

"I'm too tired to talk."

"When are we going to talk about it?"

"When I'm not lying in a hospital bed."

"If you keep trying to kill yourself, we'll be SOL."

"Can't we do this another time?" she asked.

"When?"

"I don't know. When I have color in my face," she replied sarcastically.

"We need to deal with the Catherine. We are two perfectly grown adults and I love you more than anything in the world. I don't know if this irrational idea is still running through your head that I hate you. Catherine I don't. Certain things are supposed to happen in life and our son just wasn't meant to be."

"You don't have to keep lying Gil. It's how it's supposed to be. It's how it all falls in line; the wife looses the baby, the husband hates the wife."

"Cath, unless you pushed yourself down a flight of stairs or self inflicted harm to force yourself to miscarriage, everything's fine. I know you wouldn't do that either…People loose babies, people loose a lot of things, but our love never really changed. It got stronger."

"Lose," she snorted, "People say it like a baby is a pair of keys. We didn't_ loose_ a baby Gil, a member of our family died. He's gone and if I have to blame anyone it's me," tears were on the brim of her eyes, threatening to spill over, "If I would have just relaxed and sat down once or twice this wouldn't have happened. I don't want you to hate me, but look what I've done."

Gil reached down to grab her pale hand, but she withdrew. "Can we just not talk about this anymore," she wiped the streams of quick tears from her face.

"We have to finish talking about it and dealing with it."

"Gil I…"

Lindsey walked into the hospital room, stopping her movement when she saw Gil. She quickly turned around to leave, but he was soon behind her, grabbing her arm to stop her.

"Get off of me," she said shaking herself free, "I don't wanna talk to you."

"Lindsey, what's wrong?" he asked.

"What's wrong?" Tears were threatened to expose themselves. "Mom has been here for hours and you're just getting here. I thought you loved her. I thought you cared about her."

"Lindsey, I do. I love you and your mother beyond words," he said starring at her with bloodshot eyes, "I just got caught up with something."

"Something more important than Mom? She almost killed herself while you were off doing something else. You really need to get your priorities straight," she said with a cold and bitter flare before walking past him.

Gil grabbed his chest as he felt a sharp pain rip through his body. He took a deep breath, his breath shortening the more he tried to breath. He dropped to his knees, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Sir?" A nurse said. "We need a doctor, stat!"

---

"Mr. Grissom, you just had a server anxiety attack. It doesn't sound bad, but if it happens again it could work up to an heart attack. I'm going to give you something to kind of cool you down."

"Downers?" he asked.

"Soft of. I want you to take one, but only when you start to feel stressed." The doctor quickly scribbled his signature on the prescription slip before tearing it off and handing it to him. "You look like you've had a rough night."

"I have," he replied.

"That's your wife down the hall, right?"

"Yeah," he grunted.

"I noticed when I saw your last names. We have therapist who you can talk to."

Gil shook his head, "No I'm fine. I just needed to break down I guess."

The doctor nodded, "Well if you need anything come back and we'll be glad to help you."

"Thanks," he said sliding off the table and buttoning up his shirt.

---

"Hey," Nick said to his colleague, Sara, as he was on his way out, "Greg and I are gonna go check up on Cath. You wanna join?"

"Uhh, no," she replied, "I'm just going to stay and finish processing this evidence." She looked down at the images displayed on the bring table in front of her.

"You all right?" he asked stepping in the room.

"Yeah, why?" she answered too quickly.

"It just seems like something's bothering you."

She took a deep breath, "I guess you never really realize how close you are to people until something bad happens."

"I'm sure Cath will be fine. Grissom would have called us by now if it were bad news."

"Yeah, of course. Just let me know how Catherine is doing and send her my condolences," she said hinting that he should leave.

"No problem. Don't be in here too late." She forced a smile on her face. It crumbled when he was gone. She put her head in her hands and finger combed her hair.

Wasn't she supposed to be feeling better?

---

The nurse drew back the curtains, letting sunlight into room 324. Catherine didn't object, but rather sit up in her bed quietly, waiting for breakfast.

"I'll be right back with your breakfast," the nurse said sweetly. Catherine thanked her and immediately went back to her quiet place. Lindsey had gone home because of work. She didn't want to leave, but Catherine made it clear to her that she understood and she wanted her to go home.

There was a soft knock at the door and two familiar faces popped into the room.

"Hi," Greg said a little shaky. Catherine's eyebrows frowned in confusion.

"What are you guys doing here?" she asked.

"A little birdie told us you were here."

"Warrick?"

"Yeah, but he wouldn't tell us why," said Nick. She shifted in the bed, glad that her bandaged arm was hidden.

"Where's Grissom?" Greg asked.

Catherine shrugged, "Home," she lied. "Lindsey went home too. She had work and everything. I practically had to command her to go."

"Well since you're here all by yourself, Greg and I will keep you company," he said, "If you don't mind."

She shook her head, "I'd love the company, but I'm pretty sure you guys need some rest. There's nothing interesting going on here anyways."

"No scandals doctor-nurse affairs going on?" Greg asked. Catherine rolled her eyes.

"No General Hospital this week," she replied, "I mean it guys. Go home and rest."

"Ok. We miss you at the lab," Nick said.

"A lot," Greg added.

"I miss you guys too. Tell everyone I said hi."

"Sure. Sara sends her condolences as well," he added.

Catherine gave a small fake smile. "Thanks."

"We'll see you later." Both of them kissed Catherine on her cheek and gave her a small hug before leaving.

The nurse walked past them just as they left with a tray of disgusting hospital breakfast food. "Here you are," she said setting up her 'table'.

"Thank you," she said. "Excuse me," she called. The nurse turned around at the door, "Can I speak with my doctor when I'm done."

"I'll see if he's available," she replied.

"Thank you."

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys. Sorry for not updating for a while. I've been really busy. This story is going to end soon though. This time I'm for real- one or two chapters left. Of course they're probably be a sequel, but not right away. Please review, I love it when you guys do. **


	23. Chapter 23

**Inconsolable**

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect.**

**A/N: Hey guys. I'm _not_ dead, just been extra, extra busy. The next chapter will be the last. You guys will be reading a sequel in the near future.**

* * *

Warrick came into the layout room, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Sara and turned around.

"Warrick," she called out, but he didn't stop or turn around. Taking off her latex gloves she sat them on the table and looked around the hallways. "Warrick!" she called out once more when she saw him. He turned into the locker room and she followed him.

"What?" he asked annoyed. 

"Is Catherine okay?" she asked after a short silence.

"Why don't you ask Grissom?" he replied with a nasty tone.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Look," he replied, "I don't have time to deal with your B.S. I've got work to do." She looked at him like he were crazy. He couldn't know.

"What the hell are you talking about Warrick? What did I do to you?" she asked.

"Sara stop acting like I don't know! You know I do!" he yelled. 

"Why is anything that I do any of your concern?"

"Because they are my friends," he answered. 

"Hey man, what's going on?" Nick said poking his head in the tension filled room. He had come back to check up on some evidence since sleep wasn't anywhere on his schedule. Warrick slammed his locker shut and glared at Sara with flared nostrils and creased eyebrows before brushing past Nick and mumbling, "Nothing."

Sara stood in the same spot with her back facing Nick. "Sara?" he said softly approaching her. Her heard her sniff and put a hand on her shoulder. There were tears running down her cheeks. When she felt his hand she quickly wiped her tears. 

He wasn't sure what to say so he just looked at her, but she never turned his way. She just sat on the bench that divided the two walls of lockers. He sat down beside her and got no objection. He thought about earlier when he saw the glance between the two. "What's going on?" he asked. 

"When you finally take what you've wanted for so long, aren't you supposed to feel good about it?" she asked looking in her lap.

"Depends on what you've taken and how," he replied. "Sara what did you take? What's this all about?" She shook her head and looked at him with big hazel eyes. 

"If I told you, you wouldn't understand," she said before getting up and walking out.

---

Lily wrapped up the sugar cookies she had made and put them in the basket that sat on the counter. She turned around when she heard the front door close. Gil walked in with a tired face. "Good morning." Lily replied. 

"Hi Lily," he replied, drained. 

"Have you been up all night?" she asked worried.

"Yeah. The doctor gave me these pills…"

"For what?"

"Stress. It's nothing really. I just need to get some sleep. Where's Linds?"

"She left for work already. I got up and made us some breakfast before she left then I made Catherine some cookies. I'm going down to the hospital around noon. I'm going to make you some lunch and then you can rest."

"No Lily, it's fine. I'll probably be asleep by the time you're done." 

"Are you sure? It's not good to sleep on an empty stomach." 

He nodded, "Yeah." Lily moved around the island in the kitchen and pulled him into an embrace. 

"Everything's going to be okay Gil. You just wait and see." He wrapped his arms around his mother-in-law missing his own mother.

"Thank you for being here Lily. It means a lot to me and the girls," he said referring to his wife and daughter. 

"You need family. We all need each other."

---

Gil sat on the edge of his bed. He thought about Lily's words and thought about how much he missed his mother. He picked up the phone and dialed the number to the airport.

"Hi. I was wondering if I could send out a plane ticket… To my mother. She's deaf and I can't call her…. Yeah, that'd be great…. Yes I can do that…. Okay. Thank you." He hung up the phone and lay down. 

He closed his eyes wishing that sleep would just overtake him as soon as his head hit the pillow, but he was disappointed when it didn't. Instead thoughts of Catherine and their baby came into his head. He wished he could understand why Catherine was so distraught. Maybe he hadn't heard of enough stories of women who went suicidal after they lost a baby. _'Who knows, maybe it's just a woman thing,'_ he thought. 

He smiled to himself thinking of what Catherine's response would have been. Something like, "I thought the Gil Grissom wasn't judgmental," or "What a man thing to do; blame it on the 'woman thing'," as she cutely pouted. Then he'd kiss her with muffled laughs before she joined in.

But everything was different now and he couldn't help but want to fix it. Lily's words echoed through his head, _"We all need each other."_

---

Catherine heard a faint knock on the door as her doctor walked in. "Good morning, Catherine."

"Morning."

"The nurse said you wanted to see me?" 

"Yes," she replied sitting up on the bed. She brushed a piece of hair behind her ear. "When will I be released?"

The tall dark haired doctor pulled up a chair and sat beside the bed. "Well, typically with a case like yours we don't let the patient out immediately. We admit you to the psych ward which is on the forth floor for about thirty days. If the physiatrist there says it's okay to release you, we do. Sometimes they release you and send you to another physiatrist outside of the hospital at a certain time."

"Oh," she replied. 

"Catherine, I know you're anxious to get out, but under the circumstances…"

"I understand, but is there anyway that I could get transferred to another hospital with a similar program or go to a physiatrists somewhere else?" 

"Possibly. May I ask why you would want to do that?"

"I think the healthiest and the best way for me to get better is to get out of here."

"You want to… run away?" he asked. 

She shrugged, "If that's what you want to call it."

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**A/N: Tell me how ya liked it. I love those reviews. **


	24. Chapter 24

**Inconsolable**

**Disclaimer: I own nadda!**

**Rating: PG-13…why not?**

**Summary: Everything was perfect.**

**A/N: I totally forgot about this fic and I'm sooo sorry. I was looking through my documents and found this so I finished it. This is the last chapter and I hope you guys enjoyed it. **

**PS: If you can vote in the US, please do!

* * *

**

Lily poked her head into Catherine's hospital room.

"Hi, sweetheart," she said holding up the basket of cookies she had baked. Catherine was coming out of the bathroom and she sat on the edge of her bed.

"Hi mom. You bought cookies?" she asked.

"Your favorite- sugar. How are you doing?"

"Fairly well. These walls are starting to close in on me."

"Maybe you can see if you can paint them or move to another room."

"No. I'm just really anxious to get out of the hospital in general."

"Have you talked to your doctor about arranging your release?"

"No, not really," she lied. "Um, how's Lindsey?"

"She's busy. She really wants to be by your side though."

"I know, but she should keep doing the usual. Her world doesn't have to stop for me. I'm the mother in this relationship." Lily laughed. Catherine laid her small body on top of the blankets. She hadn't eaten much and had lost weight.

"Aren't you going to ask how Gil is?" Lily asked. Catherine didn't reply, but stared at the ceiling. "He's worried, stressed and exhausted. I don't think he knows what to do, Catherine."

"Well, mother, I don't either."

"Why won't you talk to him? Tell him that? You two need each other. Catherine, let him in."

"Mom…"

"Fine. Conversation over," Lily said to the familiar tone. "Just know that we all love you and want you to get better."

Lily reached out as she sat in the chair beside the bed. She rested her hand on top of her daughters and gently squeezed it.

"I love you too Mom. And no matter what happened, or what happens, I love you."

"You sound like this is the last time we're going to speak to each other."

"I just want you to know how much I appreciate you. You gave me life, yadah, yadah yah. " Both women laughed. "Can I have some cookies, please?" she asked. Lily passed her the basket with a grin.

----------

Gil woke up with a sore arm. He rolled on his back and groaned. Even sleep wasn't comfortable. He got up and went into the bathroom to take a shower.

Like many times before, he let his tears flow with the streams of water shooting out of the showerhead. The emotions flowed through his body, uncontrollably. The shower was the one place he could cry.

He cried for his mistakes, Catherine and their baby and how uncontrollable everything had become. His family was unraveling, but he didn't know what to do. He needed his wives support more than ever. He needed her to tell him that everything was going to be okay, but she wouldn't… or couldn't. He didn't know.

Gil seemed to have tears for days, so he slowly controlled himself and turned off the shower. He put on a pair of slacks and a polo t-shirt. As he headed down the stairs, he heard the front door open and close.

"Hi Dad," Lindsey said when she saw him.

"Hi. I thought you were at work."

"I only worked until this afternoon. Did you get some sleep?"

"Yeah," he mumbled.

"I guess it wasn't that great?"

"No, not really." He opened the fridge and grabbed a plate with a sandwich surrounded with saran wrap and a post-it identifying the item was his. "What are you doing today?"

"Going to visit Mom," she replied peeling a banana. "How was she when you visited?"

"She was okay," he said before biting into his sandwich. Lily had made it perfect- as usual.

Lindsey nodded. "I just came to check on you. I'll see you later."

"Alright. Be careful, driving."

"Yes sir." Gil watched her walk out the door and close it behind him. Even though he and Lindsey weren't blood, he felt like they were. In his mind, she was his little girl. He wanted to sit her down and explain everything, but he already knew that she understood.

When he was done with his lunch, he drunk a glass of water with some migraine medicine to prevent one that was yet to come. Deciding to go to the lab to catch up on some work, he grabbed his keys.

----------

Catherine and Lily had fallen asleep watching soap operas. Lindsey quietly knocked on the door and opened it. Lily stirred from her light sleep and saw her granddaughter. She held up her hand silently telling her to be quiet.

Lindsey carefully closed the door and tip toed across the room. Lily grabbed an extra hospital sheet and put it over Catherine.

"She's exhausted," Lily whispered. "How was work?"

"It was fine," Lindsey said quietly. "I stopped by the house and Dad was eating."

"Good. Sit with your mother. I'm going to run down to the cafeteria."

"Ok, but no flirting with the senior citizens," she teased. Lily quietly closed the door behind her.

Lindsey sat down next to her mother's bed and began to flip through the channels.

----------

Nick knocked on Warrick's apartment door. He heard his friend's footsteps approaching then the heavy door swung open.

"Hey man," Warrick greeted.

"Hey. Come in."

"I, um, just wanted to see how you were doing."

"Shouldn't you be at Sara's?" He asked sinking into his couch. He turned up the volume to the TV two marks. "I'm alright, man."

"Are you sure?" Nick asked with a smile. "You didn't look fine."

"Yeah," he said watching a re-run of a baseball game.

"So you're not going to tell me what's going on?" Nick asked.

"It's not my business to tell you. It's Sara's and I just happen to know." There was a long pause. "Look, Nick I'm not trying to be an asshole. I don't think it would be right to tell you."

Nick nodded, admiring his friend, "I understand… You got anything to drink?" he asked.

"Got some Corona's in the fridge. Grab me one, will you?"

----------

"Grissom?"

Gil looked up to see Conrad Ecklie standing in the doorway or his office. Without an invitation, he walked in. It was messy and stacked with papers as usual, but even more since he hadn't returned to do real work in a long time.

"Ecklie?"

"How are you?" Gil could hear the hesitation in his voice. For as long as they knew each other, he and Ecklie had been like rivals. It was Ecklie who saw their relationship more as a competition.

"I'm okay." It was awkward. "I just wanted to see how you were doing and to tell you that I hope everything gets better soon."

Gil wasn't too shocked. Despite what everyone thought, he knew that deep, deep inside Ecklie did have a heart. "Thank you."

Ecklie gave him a friendly nod before leaving.

----------

Catherine's eyes fluttered open to a loud knock on the door. "Shhh!" she heard someone say.

"Sorry," she heard Greg's apologetic voice.

Catherine turned her head to see Greg walk in and Lindsey sitting next to her.

"Good job Greggo, you woke her up."

"I said sorry butt head. Hi Catherine."

"Hi," she said sleepily. She turned over to face them and adjusted her bed so she could sit up.

"How are you?"

"I'm good."

"She was asleep until you brilliantly banged on the door," Lindsey teased.

"I didn't know she was asleep."

"Greg, this is a hospital. People are always asleep. "

Catherine smiled at the two. They were like brother and sister. Her smile faded slightly. She would miss their bickering.

"It's fine. I kind of need to get back into a regular sleeping pattern."

"And eating," Greg added, "You look so thin. Not that you weren't thin before…"

"Thank you Greg. For reminding me I look like crap," Catherine said.

"I-I'm sorry…" Catherine started to laugh and Lindsey joined her.

"I was kidding. I do need to gain a few pounds. The anorexic model look isn't working for me."

"You don't look _that_ thin," he said.

"Where's your grandmother?"

"Probably downstairs flirting with old dudes." She cringed at the thought.

"Ain't old love grand?" Greg asked.

"No, it's disgusting. Mom and Dad are borderline disgusting."

"Borderline?" Greg said.

Catherine cleared her throat, "I'm still in the room."

Lily came into the room and left the door open. "Hello Greg," she said.

"Hi Lily."

"Nice to see everyone having a little get together in here and Catherine's smiling."

"If feels nice to smile," Catherine replied. Greg quickly opened his phone to check the time.

"I have to go pick up some Chinese food I ordered."

"Lindsey why don't you go with him?" Catherine said, "Vending machine food isn't very filling."

"Okay. I'm in the wonton mood. " She gave her a mother a kiss on the cheek and promised her she'd be back in no time.

Lily straightened up some flowers in a vase next to the bed. Catherine sighed and started at her mother.

"Mom, please sit down," she said.

"I'm just straightening up," she replied knowing her daughter's tone.

"You're always straightening up. Just sit down and watch TV."

Lily threw up her hands and sat next to Catherine. "You know, you were never this motherly when I was young."

"Well… I'm glad you didn't get my parenting genes."

"It wasn't all bad. You took Nancy and I to the park every now and then. And what little girl can say she took field trips to Sam Braun's office?" Catherine laughed.

"Well you're doing a better job than I did. Lindsey is a beautiful girl."

"It didn't get better until Gil and I got together," she admitted. "Usually men distract me from her, but Gil didn't. He- he was about a family being together. I think because for all those years, he was the only thing missing."

"Was or is?"

"Was. Everything is… scattered and I don't know what to do."

"Confide in your husband," Lily answered simply.

"You say that like it's easy," Catherine said with her eyes beginning to water.

"Sweetheart it is. You've just got this wall up that's making it hard for anyone to break through and it's trapping you in. You have a beautiful husband who wants nothing more for you to get better right now. And you have a beautiful daughter who's growing up so fast and in the blink of an eye, and soon you'll be sending her off."

Catherine wiped away the tear that had slid down her face. "I know. I'm lucky, but it just takes time for the blind to see, right?"

Lily nodded and placed her hand over her daughters. "Everything will be alright."

------

It was almost 1am. Catherine stuffed her small duffle bag with the few outfits she had with her. The room was dimly lit. The only light came from the bedside lamp. The hospital was quiet. She could hear the nurses quietly walking down the hallway.

There was a knock on the door and her doctor walked in. He held a folder in his hands.

"I'm almost done," she said.

"Your cab is on the way. And here are all of the papers you'll need." He sat the on the end of the made up bed.

"Thank you." Instead of turning and leaving, the doctor stood watching her.

"Catherine, I don't think this is a good idea." She quickly glances at her doctor.

"What? Do you think I'm mentally unstable or something?"

"I don't know. Are you?" Catherine didn't answer, but zipped up her bag.

"People are going to call this, what I'm doing, a million things. I ran away. I was going crazy because of the miscarriage," she said predicting the rumors that were to come.

"What would you call it?"

"Starting over," she replied simply. "I have a chance to stop ruining the lives of people around me. This will help me recover physically and mentally."

"It could also do bad."

"Did you study physiology or did you go to medical school?" Catherine asked.

"In my professionally opinion, Mrs. Grissom," he said, "I don't this is a good idea. You just lost a child and I have seen many women go through the same thing and end up fine."

"My son was not a pair of keys or a shoe; I didn't lose him. He died before I even got a chance to meet him," she snapped. "Doctor, I respect your opinion and your concerns, but I can't stay here. It'll only get worse."

The doctor sighed, "You know that I'm taking a huge risk, letting you go. If the hospital doesn't call to report your check in, I'll call the police and get an arrest warrant issued for you."

"I won't screw your life up. I'm starting my recovery already."

"Mrs. Grissom… what do you want me to tell your family?" There was a long pause. He began to think she was ignoring the question until she spoke quietly.

"Don't tell them anything. We have a doctor patient confidentiality."

"They're going to want to know why you aren't here anymore."

"I'll handle that." She zipped her bag and glanced around the room. "I'm ready." She saw the question in his eyes. "Yes, I'm sure about this. Now can I go?"

He nodded and held the door open for her.

----------

Catherine sat in the corner of her bedroom, watching him. She could tell he wasn't comfortable. She wiped the stray tear that ran down her cheek. In her hand, a plain white envelope shook. She glanced at the bright red numbers on the clock, realizing she had been there for an hour. It was time for her to go.

She placed the envelope on the nightstand. A soft smile crept upon her face remembering how some nights his snoring would keep her awake, but yet she wouldn't trade it for sleep any day. She let her lips gently touch his forehead. She took in his scent, letting her eyes slip close.

Her heart skipped a beat when his eyes fluttered halfway open.

"Catherine?" he said groggily. He tried to force his eyes open, but the medicine made the heavy.

"Go back got sleep." His eyes won, and he was snoring again in seconds. "I love you so much." She kissed him softly on the lips. Her eyes burned with tears, but she blinked them away.

Before she left, she glanced at him once more and said her last good-bye.

Catherine stood in front of her daughter's door, watching her sleep through the crack. She was sprawled across the bed, the blankets twisted around her body and on the floor. She smiled. Her daughter had grown up so much over the years. _'She doesn't need me anymore,'_ Catherine thought. She kissed her hand and blew it to her daughter before closing the door gently.

Next she stopped at her mother's door. She didn't open it. She knew Lily would hear her and she just couldn't face anyone right now. She placed her hand on the door and her other on over her hear. _'I love you, Mom.'_

Catherine started the engine of her rental car. She quickly speed out of the drive way and away from the house before she changed her mind. She decided to avoid the lab knowing everyone was probably working.

As she sped down the highway, tears flowed down her cheeks. She quickly glanced down at the rings on her left hand. She smiled, but it soon faded. She slipped them off her finger and dropped them in the cup holder.

----------

Gil's eyes fluttered open. The envelope on the nightstand instantly caught his sleepy eyes. He rubbed his eyes. He knew it wasn't there when he had fallen asleep.

He stopped moving as blurry image of last night flooded his mind. His fingers lightly touched his lips. He remembered her soft hair tickling his face and the sterilized smell of the hospital fill his nostrils. He quickly sat up and grabbed the envelope.

_Dear Gil, _

_For years I was missing something in my life. Then you came along and I figured it out. All the years we spent at arms length were torture. When I was finally in your arms, I felt at home. You and Lindsey are my world. Without either of you, my life would never have been so perfect or complete. Or course when it comes to me, life was just too good to be true. _

_When I found out I was pregnant, I was speechless, excited. A million emotions ran through my body. It wasn't something I was expecting (I should have though.) and I knew you'd be so excited. The look on your face, it was priceless. It meant everything to you, I know that and I took it away for you. You can't say you didn't blame me the tiniest bit. I was ignorant and stubborn thinking I was invincible. Then the worst happened. I could see the hurt, the anger and sadness in your eyes. I can't swallow the fact that I caused that pain because I love you so much._

_I know you won't understand why I'm doing his. I can't destroy your life any more than I already have. I've lost too many people I care about and I can't bear to loose, Lindsey, my mother or the team. So I'm leaving. I'm not asking you to understand or rationalize, or even forgive what I'm doing. I just want you to know that I do love you and this is something I have to do. _

_I want you to fall in love again. Make sure she's beautiful inside and out. Love her with everything you have and take care good care of her. Watch out for our Lindsey. She's already so grown up. Don't let my mother drive you crazy either. Tell the team that I love them al dearly._

_I will always remember you and everything you gave me. Even our son, Anthony Gilbert Grissom. I love you forever and always_.

_Your Butterfly,  
Catherine.

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_

**A/N: The End. No really, it's the end. Don't worry I'm planning to do a sequel, but probably when I finish another fic (not Young Summer Love). The sequel will explain a lot that wasn't in this story. I'm not going to tell you if it'll be a happily ever after for our dear Grissom and Catherine. Please review!**


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